The Chubby Artist

Who You Gonna Call? Plateau Busters!

2009-12-20T08:26:00.000-08:00

It has been a few weeks and I am sure you are wondering if my KISS (Keep It Simple Stupid) plan for busting through my plateau worked. In the words of Napoleon Dynamite, “Heck Yeah!”.... I lost 3.6 pounds! Yes! I am more excited than the time I found a huge bag of Twizzlers hiding in the bottom of my purse. Factoring in this weight loss, I have now lost around 52 pounds!

Losing this weight has been great, but I have recently run into a little problem called THE HOLIDAYS. Trying to lose weight during THE HOLIDAYS is like trying to tie your shoes with mittens on. You may be able to do it but only with great effort, concentration & a good dose of frustration. I don’t know why family + great food = dimpled thighs, and in my case you can add in a bulging belly and jello neck. Don’t get me wrong, I love the spirit of THE HOLIDAYS but hate the 10 pounds I usually gain. When Thanksgiving came around this year I decided this was the year I would do things a little differently. There was NO WAY I was gaining 10 pounds. The only thing worse than losing weight is losing the same pounds all over again and there was NO WAY I was going to lose any of those 50 pounds all over again!

I knew I needed a game plan and this is what I did:

1) Ate what I wanted for my Thanksgiving meal. Right about now I know you are wondering how in the world this factors into a weight loss plan for THE HOLIDAYS. But notice I said “meal”, as in one! Every other Thanksgiving “meal” has actually lasted 3-5 days. This time I ate what I wanted (pie, cupcakes, turkey, sweet potato casserole, rolls, dressing, after dinner Mai Tai’s…..etc…..etc) for the ONE meal. I then sent most of the leftovers home with others and told myself the “unhealthy” leftovers were off limits (easier said than done, but I only caved once when I went into the kitchen late at night and somehow tripped and fell into a piece of pumpkin pie). For the most part, I was back eating right by the next day. This strategy worked so well that I plan to use it for Christmas Eve, Christmas Day & New Year’s Eve (3 holiday’s = 3 meals, not 12!).

2) Exercised more. Thanksgiving morning I was at the gym doing a hard core boot camp and the day after Thanksgiving I did a 2 hour “turkey burn” (cycle class). I only went up one pound during the days surrounding Thanksgiving & I was back to my original weight 3 days after my big meal. I know the extra exercise helped.

3) Remembered. Remembered what exactly? Well, I remembered why I was trying to lose weight in the first place (my health, confidence, appearance). I remembered how good being skinny feels (and trust me, there is no greater high than looking in the mirror and LOVING what you see). I also remembered to stay focused (I suffer from weight loss induced ADD. I often wander off the weight loss path faster than you can say “cheez its”). Most importantly I remembered how I looked and felt 52 pounds ago. Nothing, and I mean NOTHING will ever make me go back to being that person.

Hopefully these tips will help you during this time of food & festivities. I still have 25-39 pounds to lose. I plan to trudge through THE HOLIDAYS and then focus everything I have into losing the rest of the weight so I will look fabulous for summer. In January I will post new before and after pictures along with a look at what a difference 50 pounds makes! Till then try hard to keep the spirit of Christmas in your heart (not on your ass!)

Yummy Thanksgiving picture was obtained from Hornblower Holidays. Funny scale picture was obtained from NJweightdoctor.com. Workout picture was obtained from a really cool site called "I need motivation" which has a lot of great workout tips. Check it out here.

October really was a scary month

2009-11-07T10:18:00.000-08:00

I usually love fall. October through December has always been one of my favorite times of year. But not this October. Pumpkins, fall leaves, and a fat ass. This October literally sucked. Yep, “plateauville” was where I lived. If location is everything, then my location sucked! When I did my weekly weigh in on November 1^st, I was only .4 pounds less than what I weighed on October 1^st (Yes, that is point 4!). That means I did not even lose a ½ pound in the entire month of October. Hmmmm….. I still followed the same program, ate lettuce like a rabbit, and exercised like I loved it yet I was rewarded with NOTHING. Trust me; the dreaded plateau is more frustrating than the last bite of pound cake falling off your fork.

The only good news is that this lovely plateau has cured me of my scale obsession. I decided to give up my daily weigh in when I weighed the same for the umpteenth day in a row and suddenly felt the urge to set my scale on fire. Yep, no more doses of daily scale for me. Anyway…. I am now determined to bust through this plateau and emerge victorious on the other side. So I decided to research plateaus in the hopes that I would find a solution to my problem. I spent hours online taking notes and writing down tips (Note to self: Run in the opposite direction whenever you see a forum titled “How long was your longest plateau?”….. Seeing people answering “years” almost made me puke up a carrot stick). More good news? This plateau sofa/daybed by designer Adrian McDermott is awesome. Much better than a real plateau! (Yes, I googled "plateau images").

It is amazing how much good (change up activity or diet) and bad (lower calories below 1200) advice there is out there for busting a plateau! I sifted through all the info and decided on a KISS (Keep It Simple Stupid) plan for my plateau. The plan is to:

1) Drink more water. Sounds easy enough. Although I was already drinking 7-8 glasses a day, I read that really active people need to drink even more water. So I am upping my water intake to at least 11-12 glasses per day. I have already started this step and although the increased trips to the bathroom are annoying, I must admit the crystal clear water in the toilet AFTER I use it is amazing. Makes me feel downright healthy! (I know…way more information than you needed).

2) Carb Cycling. I decided I needed to mix up my diet a bit to get the weight loss going again. I read a lot about carb cycling and have decided to modify what I found out to fit my needs. My goal is to lower my carb intake overall by cycling low, moderate & higher carb days. I usually eat all the carbs I want within my calorie range so this is a big step for me! I know I can’t just do low carb (I love carbs too much!) but I know I can cycle in some low carb days knowing carbs will be back on the menu soon.

3) HIIT: High Intensity Interval Training. I decided I need to switch up my workout too, so my fat arse might get “shocked” into losing weight again. I already work out a lot (1-2 hours/day, 6 days a week) so I did not feel like it would help to add more cardio. Also, I already do a wide variety (cycle, treadmill, kickboxing, Zumba, cardio dance, step, etc) of workouts so I decided to look for something I had not tried. I am going to try some interval training since it is suppose to burn more fat and calories in a shorter amount of time. I am going to lower my cardio days to 3-4 days a week and add 3 days of interval training. This interval training will consist of running on the treadmill for 20-40 minutes, doing slower intervals for 90 seconds then running hard for 30 seconds.

This plateau better not last much longer cause I am a girl on a mission and I am not really good with being patient. I have GOALS and if I am willing to work hard then I expect to see the results. I know I am not the best at posting on this blog consistently but I promise I will post again within 2 weeks to let you know if this plan worked. If this plateau last years some of you will have to come visit me at the loony bin. I'll be the one playing checkers with myself as I shove donut, after lovely donut into my crazy face. *Sigh* Dare to dream.......

Pumpkin picture was obtained from ninitalk

Fabulous plateau sofa was designed by Adrian McDermott & was featured on Home Tone

Diet Cartoon was done by Brian Zaikowski and can be seen at his website Bztoons

Artistic running photo was taken by Bill Phelps and was featured on the Real Simple website

Scale Obsessed, Psychic Dreams & a Reality Check

2009-10-11T05:46:00.000-07:00

I will get to my weight loss since I last posted but first I must admit that I am scale obsessed. There I said it. Scale obsessed. I KNOW that I should only weigh once a week. I KNOW that the body changes in ways not determined by weight. I KNOW a person's weight fluctuates throughout the week. Yet I feel the need to put my chubby brown ass on the scale EVERY morning. As I step onto the small, square torture trap I know that it can only give me one outcome that will make me happy: significant weight loss. How stupid am I? It is not going to make me happy every day. I KNOW that, but I feel drawn to it. Its my drug. Those rare days I actually step on it and it shows me that weight loss I feel euphoric and it is almost worth all the times it failed me. Almost. Now that I have admitted my problem, maybe someone out there can plan an intervention. I will sit on a couch and cry as my friends & family read me touching letters about why they are confiscating my scale. It will be fabulous.

Now onto the weight loss news. I have lost another 3.5 pounds. That is kinda great. Notice I said "kinda". The problem with my weight loss is that those pounds were lost LAST month. In October, I have only lost .2 pounds. That is kinda pitiful! Probably lost that breaking a nail or picking a zit. It is obvious to me that I have been slacking and need a reality check. I have now lost 47.5 pounds, now is not the time to get lazy! I am almost about to reach the big 50. It is easy to trick yourself into thinking that you are still doing everything right but the reality is I must be slacking somewhere.

So I sat down yesterday to analyze what might be going on. It can't be my exercise routine. I still workout every day 1-2 hours (except Fridays). I vary my workouts using a mix of cycle class, Zumba, kickboxing, step class, running on treadmill, elliptical, cardio dance, and strength/toning exercises. Surely 10-12 hours of intense workouts per week is enough to evaporate a pound of fat or two! So if exercise is not the problem than it must be my diet. That really sucks. As a recovering eataholic, eating right is the hardest part for me. The reality? I have not been logging what I eat every day. Therefore I do not really know my calorie intake. Therefore I can't be sure I am eating the right amount. Therefore I am an idiot.

I guess deep down inside I really knew what I was doing wrong. How do I know this? Because I was having those weird truthful dreams. I might be able to lie to myself when I am awake but the truth comes out at night. Let me tell you about the dream I had last night. If it wasn't so pitiful, it might actually be funny. In my dream I was at some kind of party. The party had a ton of fabulous foods displayed buffet style. Everyone was dressed fancy and having a good time. In this dream I kept getting up to get food (surprise... surprise). Yet every time I got food something would happen so I couldn't actually eat it. Once the plate disappeared when I went to get silverware, another time I waited in line so long the food melted (don't ask) & still another time my mom pouted when she saw my plate and I ended up giving it to her.

The final time I was at the buffet filling my plate I noticed that something was going on around me, that people were applauding. Curious, I stopped piling food on my plate to see what was happening. Two beautiful, slender girls were winning an award for best dancers. They were so pretty that everyone in the room was captivated. The guy was making a big deal about how hard they had worked and how fabulous it was that they had won. One was a stunning blond, the other a beautiful black girl. At that moment the black girl looked at me, smiled an apologetic smile and pointed at my feet. As I looked down I saw that while I had been staring at them I had tilted my plate and all my food had fallen to the floor. Then I woke up. Creepy huh?

So now I am "back on the wagon". I'm tired of the trickling weight loss, tired of the crazy dreams (trust me I was exhausted from trying to get a crumb all night long) and tired of working so hard at the gym only to fail on the scale. I am going to write down everything that passes through my lips. I am going to drink water till I float away. I am going to embrace fruits and vegetables like they are a long lost friend. Yummy Mai Tai, we can be no more. Although we only met occasionally, it is clear now you were sabotaging me. Maybe we can visit again in a skinnier time and place, but for now you must stay away. Tell your friends grilled stuffed burrito, vanilla wafers and Cherry Garcia that they have been given the boot. Till we meet again...... Arrivederci!

Cool scale pic (notice it tells you what to eat, not what you weigh) was obtained from Pleaseenjoy.com

Treadmill clipart was obtained from Promote Health & Wellness

Buffet pic was obtained from a cool weight loss blog: Out of Control Fat Roll

Yummy looking Mai Tai pic came from the Sunset site.

I'm Overweight, isn't that Great?!

2009-08-30T07:28:00.000-07:00

Being overweight is wonderful, I feel grand! No... I did not take a hit to the head and basically I still have all (or at least most) of my marbles. Let me explain why I feel this way. Last Sunday I got on my Wii Fit to weigh like I always do. As the little ticker line ran up the BMI scale I waited for the usual "That's obese" announcement. Imagine my surprise when the bouncy little scale (see pic) instead declared in a chirpy voice "That's overweight". My mouth literally dropped open. Overweight? Well dang! Overweight?! Seriously? Why thats almost like calling me sexy (well at least it is to someone who has been "obese" for years!). Overweight can mean so many things. Heck, I have seen skinny people call themselves "overweight" (even though I could literally hang my purse on their protruding collarbone). Obese, however, usually only means one thing: Rotund. Maybe I am overanalyzing this, but all I know is: I'm proud to officially be overweight!

I slipped into the overweight category because I have lost 7 more pounds since I last posted. That makes a total of 42 pounds! I set a new goal for myself around the middle of August. I decided I would lose 20 more pounds by my birthday in December. That is only 5 pounds per month. Since setting that goal I have lost a little over 7 pounds! That means I only have 12.4 pounds left to lose by December. Hopefully, if things still are going this well, I will be able to exceed that and lose even more. The weight seems to be coming off much more quickly. This is probably because I have decided that hunger is my friend. Yes, you can lose weight and NEVER feel hungry. But in my experience it will take you a lot longer than if you allow yourself to feel that occasional "empty" feeling.

Before I became fully (and by fully, I mean obsessively) dedicated to my weight loss I could NOT allow myself to eat small meals, skip meals or snacks, only eat light for supper, etc. Feeling hungry or unsatisfied always seemed to make me overeat. Now, however, I finally want to be skinny more than I want the food. That means I sometimes only eat 2 meals a day, eat a protein bar instead of a meal or just eat high fiber cereal for supper. Not all the time mind you, but sometimes. I can now sit and watch someone else eat dessert without even wanting a bite. That is not to say I don't occasionally eat what I want. I do. But I always compensate for it by exercising more or eating less the next meal and/or day. Weight loss is a mind set and it has taken me almost 8 months to reach this stage. If you are struggling with weight loss, keep trying! With persistence it will get easier!

You may have guessed by now that I am a sucker for weight loss tools. You may remember me paying around $250 for a GoWear Fit (See earlier post). I have spent quite a bit on exercise and/or fitness (gym membership, treadmill, exercise ball, resistance bands, hand weights and my GoWear Fit) but I still use them all religiously (well... except the exercise ball. Not sure why but my fat arse kept rolling off and landing on the floor). Anyway, I recently saw the Shape Up shoes by Sketchers (when I was speed walking the mall... yes, I am one of those kooky mall walkers). I researched the shoes and read reviews. These shoes are suppose to promote weight loss, strengthen the back, firm calf and buttock muscles, reduce cellulite and tone your thighs, increase cardiovascular health, improve posture and reduce stress on knee/ankle joints. Basically your whole damn life will improve if you just buy these shoes.

So I did. They cost me a whopping $110 (w/tax) and had to be shipped to me since I have sasquatch feet and they didn't carry my size in the store. They kinda look dorky but so does having a fat ass. I was really excited about the possibility to tone while walking since I am on my feet a lot during the day. I have had these shoes for 3 days now. I am so sore! The shoe was designed to simulate walking on sand (you know how that wears you out!). Therefore, you are only suppose to wear them for 20-45 minutes and build up to all day wear overtime. Whatever! I am on a mission to get this fat off my ass so I have worn them for most of the last 3 days. My calves, butt and thighs ache! Hopefully that means something is shrinking under all that dimpled skin! To early to tell, but I will keep you posted on my progress with these platform shoes. I will let you know if they do anything besides deplete my bank account. Next week (ok... next TIME... whenever that will be....) I am going to post about more goals, my ongoing beautification process, more milestones, more weight loss tips and of course update how the shape up shoes are working out. Till then dream about Twinkies but don't eat them!

Wii Fit scale picture was obtained from here. Sketchers Shape Up shoe picture was obtained here. Gift picture came from this blog.

5 More Gone & Blog Away Big Sista!

2009-07-30T06:20:00.000-07:00

In my last post I told you that my sister (The Chubby Artist's Chubby Sister) would be sharing her tips on cooking low-fat fabulous food. During my recent visit to Atlanta I grazed (or inhaled if you prefer) super yummy food every day and still came home skinnier. I have asked her to post about some of the fabulous food she made. But first some good news: the shrinkage continues! I have lost an additional 5 pounds! For several months the weight seemed to be dribbling off. Progress seemed slow even though I thought I was doing everything right. At the rate I was going, I might have reached goal by my retirement party (and I'm in my 30's). I know that slow weight loss is easier to maintain but really.... what good is skinny jeans gonna do me if they don't fit me until I am 90? Yep, faster, more consistent weight loss beats "drip drip" weight loss any day. Enjoy my sister's post below (my comments will be in orange). Next time I plan to post in more detail what I have done to increase my weight loss (Hint: I have actually felt hunger for the first time in years, and it was neither cute, fuzzy or orange!)

Congratulations to you on the BIG 25! (Thanks, its 35 now!) I am slowly trying to catch up with you sister. So now that I have my treadmill (see previous post) and I ordered a Schwinn recumbent exercise bike that finally got delivered (one more weight loss tool to add to the pile)…I hoped to get busy with my exercise and give you some competition. Now, I am not working out two times a day and climbing Mt. Kilimanjaro just for kicks and giggles, like my sister (your such a drama queen :), but I was aiming to work out for an hour an day, alternating between the Schwinn and the treadmill each day, 7 days a week. However, as usual, I only manage to actually workout 3 days and last week not a single day.

So I have decided to try to be more honest with myself and evaluate both my exercising and my eating habits. I cannot lie… I have a keen palate that demands fabulous gourmet foods… which are usually found at fancy and highfalutin restaurants around Atlanta (yes I am a member of Zagat… I am fat remember ..... You must be crappin in high cotton cause I don't even know what Zagat is..). Some of my favorites are Roy’s Hawaiian Fusion (http://www.roysrestaurant.com/) … where I completely loose myself in their decadent chocolate soufflé or Canoe (http://www.canoe-atl.com/), where I could eat troughs of their Cimino Farms African Squash Soup…. I am drooling... So the food is hedonistically delicious, immensely fattening (see previous post of my sister’s infamous visit) and will squeeze the hell out of your wallet…….

(Picture is of the Roasted Romanos & Tomatoes with Tapenade). So even though I absolutely and completely hate to cook (standing on your feet in front of a hot steamy stove. The essence of burning meat in your nose. The whir of the incompetent stove vent whining in your ear. The periodic chirping of the smoke detector warning you that you suck in the kitchen and you should stop whatever it is that you are doing. Chop, dice, stir, mince, reduce, whisk, preheat, discard, spread, garnish and dash….and where the hell is the garlic salt….who moved the @#$% garlic salt?!), my love of good food has caused my bank account to shrink and my waistband to expand…. so I decided to cook. I have tried just about every lowfat recipe in the world and let me tell you there is nothing quite like eating a meal that tastes like cardboard with a dirty sock sprinkled on top. Though I try to tell my mouth to just swallow, “it’s good for me…it’s what my body needs”, my mouth rebels shouting “so is a teeth cleaning, and a mammogram, and a colon check, but you don’t see me sprinting out the door for one of those either”. Then it hit me, what if I could cook the delicious foods I like so much at my fancy restaurants, right in my own home…. I could control the fat content, the freshness of the food and the cleanliness of the food (I always wonder how many of those people in the restaurant kitchen also read the little sign posted in the restroom by the mirror and ACTUALLY washed their hands before returning to work ick... and let me reiterate....ick).

This presented a couple of problems since my kitchen reflects my ineptitude at cooking. I had ketchup, mustard and some reduced fat shredded Mexican cheese, a half of a leftover pizza, one pickle, three packs of “hot” sauce from Taco bell in my fridge (I beat you, I have 8 packets of fire sauce), 8 cans of Pam spray (wow, how did I manage that), pepper, salt, and a bottle of Rum in the pantry. I owned no mixing bowls, no electric mixer, one really good Henckles knife and a plastic chopping board I got at the Dollar Tree…..pathetic. So as is my neurotic (spendaholic?) pattern, I went shopping at Sur La Table and began my journey as a Gourmet Chef! Thank God my husband not only likes to cook, but is a REALLY good cook and we made this transformation a team effort. I have discovered that good cooking tools make all the difference in the world! (Picture of Balsamic-Marinated Pork Chops & Grilled Peaches).

We bought a zester, a Henckles paring knife, a bamboo chopping board and a glass chopping board (for raw fish), a handheld electric mixer, an electric ice cream maker, a new hard-anodized sauteé pan, a new hard-anodized griddle pan (which by the way, cannot go in the dish washer), a seasoned cast-iron grilling pan, several gourmet cookbooks and several gourmet cookbook magazines (yeah, when we do it, we do it right! It was money I would have spent eating out anyway) and then we began…. OMG... just read the t-shirt.....

I have had the most fun ever! My husband took on the roll of the sous chef, chopping all the necessary ingredients and following the directions that I called out (yep, that made me the head chef J ). We put all the chopped ingredients in little glass ramekins (dang fancy pants... what the hell is a ramekin?), poured a glass of wine and the cooking began! So, my husband and I have now made our cooking routine our time for talking about our day and spending some quality time together and it really is fun and the food tastes better than what I was ordering at the restaurant (Sister, I think you could even get your husband to chop up stuff dream on...)! And as a bonus buy….this week even though I didn’t exercise, eating our own gourmet foods…. I lost 1.4 lbs!

So I thought I would share some of my favorite recipes that I found in my gourmet cookbook magazines recipes will be in the sidebar on the right (you will be shocked how many lowfat or no fat recipes you will find in these magazines…don’t let the fact that they say “gourmet” in the title fool you…they are chocked full of great healthy ideas…one caveat caveat? seriously?….buy the necessary tools, they will make a world of difference). I hope you enjoy this meal as much as I did! The meal consist of Balsamic-Marinated Pork Chops & Grilled Peaches (although every recipe I tried was amazing, this is definitely my very favorite yes, it was heavenly) and Roasted Romanos & Tomatoes with Tapenade (Although I was a little skittish over the anchovy in this recipe, I included it and the tapenade was amazing... hands down the best tapenade I have ever eaten!). You can make this while the pork chops are marinating. A Romano bean is an Italian string bean and you can substitute any kind of green beans for the Romano beans in your recipe, we substituted regular green beans. For dessert (oh yes, there must be dessert!) we pulled out the new ice cream maker and using this recipe that a dear friend of mine shared we made the most ridiculously yummy (and yes lowfat) sherbet ever! Just let it mix in the ice cream mixer while you eat your delicious pork chops and roasted green beans and it will be ready by dessert time!

My husband and I are going to try to alter Roy’s chocolate soufflé recipe they sent us in the mail (I guess they were missing us) and see if it will work with reduced fat ingredients and we are going to begin making our own sushi…I will keep you up to date. Until next time, keep thinking skinny thoughts. (picture is of homemade Cantaloupe Sherbet).

Balsamic-Marinated Pork Chops & Grilled Peaches Recipe and Picture was obtained from “Clean Eating” Magazine July/August 2009 p. 38 www.cleaneatingmag.com

Roasted Romanos & Tomatoes with Tapende Recipe and Picture was obtained from “Fine Cooking” Magazine June/July 2009 p. 40 www.finecooking.com

Weight Watcher's Hungry Monster Picture was obtained here

Liar, Liar, Pants on Fire & Another 5 Bites the Dust!

2009-07-15T06:58:00.000-07:00

Ok, I vaguely remember promising to post more. I am not sure what has happened to me this summer (must be the heat) but I seem to be having issues getting it together. Back in May, when I made that promise to post more, I must have had my fingers crossed! I really did not mean to lie, but it seems like everyday I have a million things to do (not to mention dealing with the continuous joy of eating right and exercising)! I know I do better when I blog about my efforts so once again I am going to try to get back on track (you trust me... don't you?) and hopefully blog weekly instead of monthly (hopefully is the operative word here). So let me tell you what's up. If you look right you will see a picture of fabulous Atlanta. Fabulously fun, fabulously feisty and fabulously fattening! I made two trips down there in the past few weeks to stay with my sister (known as the chubby artist's chubby sister) and her hubby (the doughy deputy).

Now you will probably remember from my last visit to Atlanta (see previous April 14 post) that when the chubby artist, my chubby sister and the doughy deputy get together all food hell breaks loose. Not sure why, but every time I get around these two I start eating like its gonna be my last meal. "Let us show you the finest that Atlanta has to offer" they whisper delicately in my ear. "Yes" I whisper back, as if in a trance, then go forth to dine on food so fine it makes you want to cry (by the 3rd bite my eyes are usually misty). Look at these seemingly innocent faces (yes, this is a holiday photo from Christmas... I was too lazy to search for another one). Two fun and spirited people who helped me gain 5 pounds in 3 days when I hung out with them during spring break. I had planned two trips down there this summer and this time around I was determined not to gain any weight during the visit. I headed down there a few weeks ago and I am not going to lie, I was nervous! I felt like a recovering drug addict hanging with my drug dealers "just for fun."

How did the visit go? Excellent of course! You didn't think I would make the same mistake twice did you? I managed (through blood, sweat & an impressive burst of willpower) to lose weight during both visits! I think I deserve a medal or at least a low-fat twinkie. This was definitely a huge accomplishment. My sister and her hubby were great. All I had to do to achieve these results was sweetly explain that I could not deal with having to gain and lose the same weight over & over again and seek their assurance that I would have the opportunity to eat healthy and exercise. I might also have mentioned that there might be a black eye in someone's future if I gained even an ounce. Regardless of the reason, they really went above and beyond, cooking wonderfully yummy low-fat meals and taking me to the Silver Comet trail for evening speed walks.

Now for the best news: since I posted last I have lost another 5 pounds! That makes a total of 30 pounds gone! Although I am really happy with my progress, I still think losing weight is like having dust in your eye (uncomfortable, annoying, and extra work). However, I love wearing a smaller size, having more energy and having people comment on my shrinkage. I actually enjoy exercise more than I thought I ever could and am still working on the joy of eating healthy (there is joy in not eating a molten chocolate cake isn't there?). I also try to stay focused on smaller goals so I will not lose my motivation. If I lose 4 more pounds I will have reached a new weight level and 7.5 more pounds and I will be 1/2 way to my final goal of losing 75 pounds. Everyday is an ongoing struggle but I just remind myself of my end goal: a healthy, confident, energetic, slender me rockin' a pair of tight, hip-hugging faded jeans. Its gonna be great.... molten chocolate cake be damned.

Next week: I will be posting a blog entry written by my sister (the chubby artist's chubby sister). The low-fat food they fed me in Atlanta was so fabulous and creative that I asked her to be a guest writer to share some recipes & tips with you. How do I know it will be posted next week (and not next month)? Because she has already written it and sent me the pictures! Must be nice to be organized.....

Atlanta pic was obtained from this website

Medal clipart obtained from Clipartheaven.com

Bring It On!

2009-06-06T05:32:00.000-07:00

Lets just go ahead and start with the good news: I lost another 2-1/2 pounds! I am so excited and proud. That means I have lost a total of 25 pounds and am now a third of the way to my goal!

I would like to claim that my weird pose in this picture is due to the pride I feel at reaching this goal but unfortunately it is not true. The real reason I look like an awkward, deranged peacock is because I was listening to the directions of the photographer (a 19 year-old kid who wears his hat sideways). "Push back your shoulders" he said, "and put your hand on your hip." "Like this?" I asked hesitantly (since the pose did not feel natural). "Yeah perfect" he said as he shot this stupid looking picture.

Oh well. The purpose of the picture is to show you a before and after shot so you can (hopefully) see a difference. This is the after picture, and even though I still have quite a way to go, I still think I look better then I did 25 pounds ago!

Here is another after photo. Who is that supermodel lounging on the stairs? Yep, thats me. Thank goodness I didn't listen to the photographer in this pose ("put one leg up on the top stair" he said. Thankfully I resisted. I am sure I would have looked like Captain Morgan from those rum commercials).

Not only have I lost 25 pounds, but I have also went down between 1-2 pants sizes (depending on the brand). I feel more energetic (except when it comes to housework.... not sure what is going on in that area) and I actually really like to exercise. I am still doing 6 days of exercising for at least a 1 hour duration. I kickbox, zumba, cardio dance and I have also recently added step classes.

I... oh... we need to paint the porch.... (sorry got distracted)... I still struggle a bit in the food area, but for the most part do pretty well with the occasional doughnut thrown in for good measure. Now for the good part. Here are the before pictures. Try not to dry heave (my unfortunate initial reaction).

So this is not even the best before picture (trust me that one is coming). But I chose this one because of the belly/boob area (not sure which one is sticking out farther!). To me you can see a real difference in these areas when you compare the before and after shot.

Also If you are having a hard time seeing a difference, look at the size of my head as compared to my body. Isn't it funny how the size of your head stays the same even as your butt grows wider?

In the before picture I look like my head was shrunk by a witch doctor, it is not remotely proportioned! But if you look at the after, I no longer look like I have a small, oblong cantaloupe for a head! Maybe I am over analyzing this a bit. Oh well, on to the next photo (its a doozie).

Only one word describes this picture. Wow. And I mean "Wow". Not only do I look like Jabba the Hutt in a wig, but I also look like I have been drugged. I think I was in a cheese fries, pizza, doughnut hole, grilled stuffed burrito coma!

I was desperately in need of a major intervention. Thank goodness I woke up and smelled the low fat cheese. I will never look like this again. I am determined to conquer this weight loss thing and reach my goal. I already feel so much better about myself and I am only a third of the way there. Imagine how great it is going to feel when I reach that final goal!

Two final end thoughts.... first, what the heck is that growing under my original chin? And second, if you are the size of a house (or at least a subcompact car) and you are trying to look good, never (ever) choose a green, fuzzy sweater that makes you look like a moss covered mountain. Period. Exclamation point.

Guess Who's Back, Best Mothers Day's Present, and The Big 12

2009-05-10T14:33:00.000-07:00

Goodness. It seems like I haven't posted in a while (probably because I haven't). My apologies. I have been working on the DISSERTATION (it needs all caps since it is large and in charge) and have made a lot of progress in the last few months. Let me tell you, its been great spending all my time on the DISSERTATION. I mean really, who needs to do fun stuff? Not this chubby girl! I would much rather sit around squinting at the computer screen surrounded by stacks of papers than to go out with friends, watch t.v. or blog. Yep, writing the world's longest paper rocks!

In reality, I would like to believe that absence makes the heart grow fonder but with my luck all my dieting peeps have run for the hills. Plus, you know that whenever someone who has a diet blog does not post for a while everyone always figures that they went off the deep end. I am sure everyone has been picturing me sprawled like a beached whale on the couch cursing skinny jeans as I shove cupcake #5 in my mouth. Well, I am happy to report that I have avoided the curse of the cupcakes. I am back (from the oh so fun destination known as DISSERTATION hell), and I truly plan to up my "diet" game and post more often. So lets talk.....

I had a great mother's day weekend. I really enjoyed the beautiful roses, the handmade teapot, the funny cards, the gift card to Chili's (step away from the molten chocolate cake), my sister (who I had not seen in a month) telling me I looked skinnier and the fabulous Greek dinner my husband bought me. All great! But the icing on my Mother's Day cake (sugar-free and low-fat of course) was the 3 pounds I lost this week! Yes, I am still working this lifestyle change and boy did it pay off this week. That make 22-1/2 pounds lost so far! I am so happy. I really kicked up my effort this week and I see that it paid off. Another added bonus was that at least 8 different people came up to me this week and told me I looked thinner. Excellent! I plan to post before and after pictures here when I reach 25 pounds lost so you can decide for yourself if there is a difference. You are gonna love my before picture, try not to cringe.

Unfortunately, my joy this week is a far cry from how I was feeling last week. I squeezed out a little time last week to weigh and saw that I had only lost 1/2 pound. I was bummed. My weight loss seemed to have slowed to a trickle and I was feeling a bit irritated. The way I see it, the fat girl already had her cake (and trust me she ate it too). It is now time for the skinny girl to shine. Time for skinny jeans, one chin, hip bones (what the hell, lets go ahead and throw in cheekbones too) and that perfect little black dress. So as I was sitting pondering this I thought about the Biggest Loser contestant Nicole Brewer and the 87 pounds she lost in 12 weeks. It has taken me almost 5 months to lose just over 20 pounds. This averages out to around a pound a week. Although this is a decent rate, I can't help but wish I could lose a wee bit faster. Its not like I expect to wake up skinny but really, is 2 pounds a week too much to ask?

So I decided to challenge myself for 12 weeks (I'm calling it the big 12). Let me say right now that I DO NOT expect to lose a crazy amount of weight during this time (although it would be nice), I instead am just hoping to increase my weight loss. I figure if it doesn't work I will at least still (hopefully) have my pound a week for an additional 12 pounds lost. If things go as planned and I can increase my average to 2 pounds per week that would be 24 pounds gone! To do this I have increased my exercise and made some changes in diet. I also need a backup plan so I am once again calling on my friend Yoda to work his magic. It has been a while since I called on him, but I really need some major Force this time! As you can see, I allowed him to bring a friend. Yep, surely between the two of them they can work some accelerated weight loss magic!

I am hopeful so far with the results from my first week of effort. Hopefully week two will be successful too. If so I will make sure to tell you next week what seems to be working. In the meantime, I am going to be saving my money for some Spanx (I am diggin that Hide and Sleek Bodysuit). Everyone should have an emergency failure plan. I found mine for only $88. A slender looking body is a human right. I'm sure I saw that written somewhere.....

Fabulous hiney-reduction spandex (known as Spanx) can be found at Spanx.com

Deja Vu, Bad Dreams and a Weight Loss Phenomenon

2009-04-14T07:41:00.000-07:00

Ok. So I have been missing in action for a while. I really did not realize that it had been so long since I last posted (well, until my sister e-mailed me with "um... did you really last post on your blog in March?!"). I'm sorry I haven't posted, but I have been busy experiencing deja vu. The Merriam-Webster dictionary defines deja vu as "something overly or unpleasantly familiar". Based on that definition, I guess you could say that losing the same 5 pounds all over again qualifies as deja vu.

So here is how my nightmare began. I decided (in all my infinite wisdom) to go stay in Atlanta for a few days with my sister. No kids, no hubby, no exercise routine, and apparently.... no self-control. In those few days I treated myself (approx. 27 times) to fine dining, tasty treats and sweet, sultry beverages. Imagine my surprise when I returned home to find out I had gained almost 5 pounds? How the hell does one manage to gain 5 pounds in 3 days? (Answer: fresh strawberry cobbler, creamy shrimp and grits, turkey, cranberry, and stuffing sandwich on a homemade croissant.... oh and did I mention the grilled pork chops with brandy-glazed apples?).

I was mad and disgusted with myself. I decided there was no way I was blogging until I got those 5 pounds back off. I mean really, what would I have blogged about? The fact that the chubby artist was now chubbier? Or (big surprise) the fact that the chubby artist loves food and has a tendency to stuff her face? So for the past few weeks I have been losing those 5 crappy pounds. The good news (if there is any) is that they are finally gone and I can now move on to new territory. I am focusing all my energy and effort on losing 6 pounds. That will put me at 25 pounds lost (and place me a third of the way toward my goal). Ultimately, I would like to lose 2 pounds a week to reach my goal in 3 weeks. But with my luck it will probably take 3 months (especially if I have the pleasure of losing some of the pounds over & over again..... sorry, I'm a little bitter). Ok. Ok. Confession? Check. Goal? Check. Now lets discuss some bad dreams.

As you know from previous posts, I have been exercising like I have mad cow's disease (frequent, frantic and to the point of complete exhaustion). I am sore ALL of the time. There is never a time when something on me does not hurt. Every night I lay my throbbing, sore, achy body down and try to get some sleep. Unfortunately, my stupid body has major issues (remember when it tried to save me from starvation mode even though I have enough butt for two people?) and has therefore decided to translate the pain into bad dreams. So every night I now toss and turn, unconsciously inserting my aching arms and legs into some strangely bizarre dream. My favorite bad dream (so far) occurred two nights ago. In this dream I was running through the woods (where the Ewoks live) being chased by stormtroopers. I felt nervous and anxious all night as I hid among the large ferns hoping they would not find me. Of course in the dream my aching arms, legs and neck were a result of all the running and crouching. I was truly Princess Leia (without the buns and the skinny body). Of course this new side effect is leaving me completely exhausted. *Sigh* Starvation mode, deja vu weight loss and bad dreams. Isn't weight loss fun?

And finally lets end with a weight loss phenomenon. I know I've had a lot to say today but I have missed blogging and am on a roll (so bear with me). Anyway, I have been researching a lot of weight loss stories lately (chubby girl + desperation + dissertation = the ultimate fat researcher). In some of the most successful stories where a formally fat person is now skinny, the formally fat (now skinny) person would explain that they changed their diet, increased their exercise routine and "the weight just fell off". Um.... what is this weight loss phenomenon and where can I get some? In what alternative universe does the weight "just fall off"? I know this is not a myth and does seem to occur with a few "chosen" people such as Nicole Brewer from The Biggest Loser (who lost 87 pounds in 12 weeks at home, not on the ranch with trainers)! Seriously? In 14 weeks I have only lost 19 pounds (some of which I got to lose twice). She literally lost a middle schooler in 12 weeks while I have only lost a really fat chihuahua. I know 19 pounds is a pretty nice accomplishment, I know the slower you lose it the better chance you have of keeping it off, and I know that jealously is not attractive. But why can't I obtain my really fabulous body in 12 weeks too? Patience may be a virtue but instant gratification is also pretty damn sweet and satisfying. Or at least I imagine it is.

Fat people are harder to kidnap t-shirt can be found at Fat Guy Shirts

7% Fat Free t-shirt can be found at Uncle Frog's Gifts & Apparel

Stormtrooper picture (and info) can be found at this website

Nicole Brewer pics and interview can be found at People's TV Watch

My Body Likes Food.... Who Knew?

2009-03-23T18:50:00.000-07:00

Ok, so apparently my body really likes food. You would think this was common sense but I always seem to find things out the hard way. I mean come on, my booty definitely did not get this large because I passed on the "good" food (and by "good" I don't mean healthy good). In my overly enthusiastic obsession to lose weight I forgot that fact and my big girl body rebelled! It figured out that I was planning to make it survive on carrot sticks and grilled chicken. The mutiny was on! My body literally said to me "No way, no how, sister! You built this body on chicken wings and an apple or two is not gonna cut it!"

So last week when my weight loss stalled again, I had to decide what to do. The majority of the information I found made me believe I was not eating enough (especially since I have been exercising like I am already skinny). So what did I do? Yep, I threw down. See that yummy little beauty above? I ate that. The Zaxby's Wings and Things. Beyond yummy. Oh, and that is not all. I am just getting started. I also had pizza and Reese's Pieces. I was scarfing those suckers down like ET was my best friend. Right about now you are probably wondering if I finally went off the deep end (but no, I was already there). Believe it or not though, this was part of my weight loss plan. I still ate right the rest of the time and exercised like crazy. Call it an experiment. A tasty, satisfying experiment. So what was the result of my experiment? I lost 3 pounds! 3 big fat pounds AND I got to eat yummy food. Life.... is..... good.

Ok. There is one of two things happening here:

#1) Chubby girl + insane exercise + "lifestyle change" = eat more to lose (or) #2) I am queen of the "see saw" dieters. If this is true I guess I am going to have to be satisfied with a good weight loss every two or three weeks while I maintain (stay the crappy same) the rest of the time. Technically, I am still losing pretty good even if it is sporadic. I was never that great at math but I do realize 4 weeks of losing a pound equals 4 pounds lost while 2 weeks of staying the same, 1 week of a 1 pound loss and 1 week of a 3 pound loss also equals 4 pounds lost.

One final thing: Guess who jogged? Yep, I am a jogger (well, kinda). They say you need to shake things up every now and then. So, even though I have been doing kickboxing, Zumba, stepping on my step thingy and hopping on the occasional elliptical machine, I felt I needed to try something new. I decided to attempt to jog at the park. I did a jog/speed walk combo for over 4 miles! And no I did not wear an outfit like this chick on the left.... can we say welcome to the 70's? I mean seriously, how do you jog with an atomic wedgie (you know she's got one).

Zaxby's mouth-watering pictures and menu can be found here

Reese's Pieces pictures and order information (yes, you can buy them in bulk..... not that you need to) can be found here and here

70's chick clipart came from Clip Art Heaven

What the Crap?! Nobody Told Me about Starvation Mode!

2009-03-16T18:35:00.000-07:00

Ok, so I realize I am late in posting but I have a really good reason... I was pissed off on Saturday. Oh yeah, and I was pissed off on Sunday too. Here's the problem: I received my GoWear Fit and I loved it. Yep, I lovingly strapped it to my flabby arm everyday, lovingly checked it throughout the day, and lovingly hooked it up to the computer every night. I tried to listen to every bit of advice it gave me. I was working the lifestyle change (working it like I was gonna get a paycheck or something). I exercised EVERY day. Not your normal exercise, I'm talking Zumba, Kickboxing, step aerobics, jogging, etc... exercising till my muscles literally seized up. I was also watching my calorie intake like a hawk. I clamped my lips shut and only allowed myself to consume approx. 1400-1800 calories. I logged everything on the Go Wear Fit site and grinned every night when it assured me I was on a "weight loss trend". Well, I weighed on Saturday and I have 5 words for my supposed "weight loss trend": liar. liar. pants. on. fire. I was in total shock when the wii fit showed no change in my weight (and then had the nerve to chirp "thats obese" when I was already on the edge). I was so confident that it could not be true that I actually thought my wii fit may be broke (unfortunately my regular scale assured me this was not true). I was in a word: "steamed".

Needless to say, I was not a very pleasant person to be around this weekend. I could not figure out what went wrong. So I did what I always do when I am confused and feeling ignorant... I researched. I looked all over the internet for over 4 hours to see what could have gone wrong. When I googled "dieting but not losing" and "exercising hard but not losing" the same thing kept popping up: starvation mode. Apparently, if you are exercising a lot but not consuming enough calories, then your body kinda kicks into self preservation mode and tries to hold on to stored body fat. It assumes since you are not eating enough that you are "starving" and therefore tries to help you out. A crock of crap if you ask me. Anyone who still has to shop in the plus size section does not need this kind of help. If your own body does not realize the size of your own butt then where the hell do you go from there?

Now I don't know what to do. The Go Wear fit kept telling me to eat 2200 calories a day based on the information I plugged in but I had just ignored it. I mean, who has ever heard of a diet where you consume 2200 calories? Seriously? I then went to about 10 different websites to see how many calories I should be eating. The results ranged from 1845 to 3100 calories with the majority falling between 2000-2500 calories. I am torn. My sister (the chubby artist chubby sister) says to eat more to lose. My husband (king of the starvation diet) says to keep doing what I am doing and it eventually will start working. Most websites warned about this starvation mode and suggest eating more, weight watchers says to eat more, but a few sites said this starvation mode is just a myth. Crap. Crap. Crap.

I know what I need right about now. Inspiration. You may remember in one of my earlier post the skinny jeans I dream about one day wearing while I am munching on carrot sticks and kicking my 100 pound leg up in kickboxing class. Well after this "setback" I decided to focus on my other article of dream attire: the little back dress. I decide to surf the internet to find the perfect dress I would want when I reach my goal. I found this dress and I instantly felt better (well that was until I saw the price tag but hey, you can't really put a price tag on a fantasy anyway can you?). I want to be able to wear such fabulous things and that is why I will never give up. I WILL figure out and conquer this weight loss thing. I will wear a slinky black dress in a little size. I will have fabulous, faded jeans in a skinny size stacked in my closet. It will happen. I know it will. Regardless of gender or age, I think everyone should have that outfit they dream about. Be it a muscle shirt, tank top or a bikini. Mine just happens to be kick ass jeans and a slammin dress. Figure yours out and use it. Especially when you are sweating like a pig, eating that umpteenth salad, or standing on a scale that screams "thats obese" in your face. Find your happy place.

One last paragraph (because I have a bit of good news to share and because you must see the back of the dress since it is as fabulous as the front). The reason I was able to get out of my self-destructive rage spiral and post tonight was because I snuck and weighed this morning (something I never do) and I was down a pound since Saturday. I am not going to post it under my stats since I technically "cheated" but I was relieved to see that pound and hope it doesn't disappear before next Saturday. The other bit of good news is I seem to be suffering from "Baggy Britches Syndrome". The other day at work I was walking around (actually doing my job) and I kept having to hike up my jeans. It didn't occur to me (until about the 100th time that I had hiked them up) that they shouldn't be slipping so much. I also realized that there was one pair of jeans I no longer like wearing because they now hang so low (and believe me when I say that a baggy crotch is not attractive on anyone, regardless of how thin you are). This is a good feeling. Also some people have started to notice my weight loss and have commented too. So I guess all this effort is not for nothing. *Sigh* One last whine (I promise): I have the willpower and I have the drive. I am committed. I just need to know what to do. I just wish someone would tell me exactly what to eat so that I could lose 1-2 pounds per week consistently. I don't like figuring it out. I don't have the patience to play the guessing game and I feel like hanging myself with string cheese every time I stay the same. Chant with me (before I drown my woes in Ben & Jerry's Cherry Garcia): "skinny jeans, little black dress, hipbones and only one chin...."

Skeleton Clip Art was obtained from Clip Art Heaven

Scale Photo was obtained from Clip Art Graphics

Fantasy Dress is sold at Nordstrom. Dress photos and information regarding purchase can be obtained here

However, don't bother going there if you are chubby like me (dress is only sold in sizes 0-10) or broke like me (dress cost $425.00). Apparently Nordstrom does not cater to thick thighed, jiggly booty girls with only $26.00 in their purse (yes, that includes change).

Another week, Another pound!

2009-03-07T16:50:00.000-08:00

Yep. Yep. Yep. I lost another pound. It is not as big a loss as last week, but hey it is still a loss! I am not going to lie and say it wasn't a little bit disappointing after losing 3 pounds last week, but at this stage in the game I'm just glad I didn't stay the same! To help remind my ungrateful ass what a big accomplishment a pound really is I looked up this picture of a pound of fat. Nasty, huh? But also kinda impressive. I somehow managed to work this spongy looking sucker right off my body and for that I am truly happy. To be honest, I really couldn't tell you what I did differently. I thought I had done the same thing as last week but evidently I did not. I am so glad my GoWear Fit came two days ago! Maybe now I can somehow monitor what is going on instead of finding out (surprise, surprise) on weigh in day. Oh, and for the record this picture is of a vinyl replica of a pound of fat and it can be yours for the low, low price of $27.95 (I kid you not).

Then we have the pound of muscle. Not sure how much muscle I have gained but surely I have gained some with all the stepping, Zumba, and Kickboxing I have been doing. Don't know how you feel about it but I think the muscle is much more attractive, especially squeezed in a tight pair of jeans. Cook it medium-well and add a little seasoning and it might even be downright delicious :) The most important thing is that it is SMALLER than the pound of fat and smaller is definitely better in the wonderful world of weight loss. It is, however, a little bit more expensive ($29.95) but I am sure it is well worth it.

Now let me discuss the fabulous little gadget called the GoWear Fit! It came on Wednesday night but I didn't get to start using it until Thursday since it had to charge (and I had to read the manual and the FAQ on the

web site). But on Thursday I started using it and yes.... I am addicted already! I purchased the display too (pictured here on the left) so that I could monitor my progress during the day instead of having to wait until night to download the results. This picture shows the calories I had burned so far today (when I took the picture at 5:00). It also shows my pale, ashy arm. Apparently I need to hook up a little tan cream and some lotion. Crap.

Anyway, I went on the website and put in all my stats including, weight, height, etc. I answered some questions and also did a nutritional assessment to give the GoWear Fit an idea of my typical calorie consumption (On Thursday it was

approx. 1450 calories, on Friday it was 1650). The computer then figures out how many calories I need to burn a day, how many steps I should take, how much moderate activity I need, and an alarm goes off on the display when I reach those goal. Every night it takes all my info for the day and then tells me whether or not I am on a "weight loss trend". So far it is telling me that I am and I am showing a 2300 calorie deficit total (for 2 days). I also told the program that I wanted to lose 2 pounds this week so I am interested to see if I follow it precisely how much weight I will lose. I am keeping my fingers crossed. Weight loss is such a tricky, energy zapping, motivating, see saw of a commitment. The moral of this story? If you can't do it alone.... buy technology.

To view the fat and muscle replica pictures or to buy the replicas (you know you want one) you can go to the Anatomical Chart Company

Drum Roll Please........

2009-02-27T17:12:00.000-08:00

I was getting ready this morning and happened to catch a glimpse of myself in the mirror wearing only my underwear. When I could see again (yes I was momentarily blinded), I noticed something strange. I thought I looked smaller. I turned from side to side and decided there had definitely been some shrinkage. I usually wait till Saturday to weigh (hoping some miracle will occur with each additional day) but decided today that I would go ahead and weigh myself to see if there really had been some weight loss. Imagine my surprise when I got the results (drum roll please....) I lost 3.1 pounds this week! Thats right, after 3 weeks of staying the same, I finally started losing again. That feels downright S-W-E-E-T!

Last week I ordered the GoWear Fit to help get me past my "plateau" and then managed to lose 3 pounds on my own. I'm really happy with the loss and still glad I bought the Go Wear Fit. What? Still happy even though I spent over $200 when it is apparent that I can lose weight without it? Yes, and I'll tell you why. I had forgotten (since I have been fat for a coon's age) that I am a "See Saw" dieter. It has always been that way for me. I usually manage to lose weight but it follows the same pattern: Lose good for two weeks, slight gain next week, slight loss week after that, then stay the same for several weeks then repeat cycle. Eventually the losses outweigh the gains and I reach my goal BUT it always seems to take me way longer than the normal person. I am hoping my GoWear Fit will allow me to spend more of that time losing instead of just hanging out on the See Saw. My GoWear Fit should ship next week so I will keep you posted.

Now, what exactly happened that made me get these fab results? I think it was a combination of 3 things:

1) I became frustrated. I was so tired of seeing the same weight week after week. It was always on my mind when I ate and exercised. I think it drove me to exercise harder and eat smarter.

2) I cleaned out my closet. Yes, that probably burned off a few calories but I also found something very important..... inspiration. As I waded through the piles of clothes, sorting, folding and hanging, I stumbled upon all my "narrow butt clothes". They were hidden up in the very top of the closet and they brought back a flood of memories. Good, flat stomach, feel your hipbones memories. I could picture myself when I wore those items and even better, I could remember how great I felt. I thought I would share a few of my finds with you:

My super soft, snug, faded army t-shirt with the bright yellow tank. I loved this shirt so much. I would typically wear it with a pair of faded jeans and some flip flops. Now if I managed to get it on, it would look like the tank was climbing up a hill (a big belly hill).

Ahhhh. My black velvet skinny pants. Very cool in all their outdated glory. I can remember wearing these and feeling like a rock star. Now I just look like I ate a rock star.

3) The final factor in this 3 pound weight loss? I got two words for you: Kickboxing class. I returned this week and she wore me out. That lady is vicious. Even the spandex clan were dropping like flies. Now I kinda understand what the last chance workout on Biggest Loser is like. I ran up and down a long hall holding a 10 pound ball straight out in front of me. I "monkey" walked (on my hands and feet like Mowgli from the Jungle Book) across the gym floor and I did about a thousand crunches till something in my side clamped up like a vice. It was a nonstop, sweat pouring, side aching, sore for two days workout. Every time we slowed down she would turn on us and yell "Do you guys want to lose or what!?" and every time we quit chanting (yes, I chanted a little..... peer pressure) she yelled "I can't hear you!" Um that is probably because half the class is passed out on the floor. She may be militant, but as long as she keeps knocking the weight off my butt then she's my hero. But in all honesty, the gray spandex unitard short set has to go (even if she is fit)!

Post note: I updated my figures but you may notice the numbers don't seem exactly right. These are the accurate numbers. I went to the original numbers and then the numbers I obtained yesterday to make sure I got the subtraction correct. In those 3 weeks of "staying the same" I did not change the numbers if they showed a gain or loss of less than half a pound. Now they are accurate.

Scale and skulls clipart retrieved from freeclipartpics

Desperate Times Call for Desperate Measures

2009-02-22T18:47:00.000-08:00

Ok. First of all the video above is an example of the workout class I have been taking. It is the new fitness craze called Zumba where you "dance" in a Latin-inspired way as a form of exercise. And yes, this class is kicking my butt. For a full hour I dance (if that is what you want to call it), shake and jiggle my fat to fast paced Latin music along with about 60 other "Zumbanites" (people who Zumba.... and yes, I made that word up).

The good news? I LOVE Zumba. It is loads of fun. The bad news? I seriously have not danced much since the 80's and although I have always felt like I had rhythm, I realize I basically look like an uncoordinated Latin hippo in black stretchy pants. More good news? At least 2/3 of the people in the class look as stupid or even stupider than I do. Therefore, whenever I feel like I can't do the steps or that I look like a bumbling idiot, I just look around the room and I instantly feel better. The hour flies by, there is a lot of smiles and laughter, and my shirt is always drenched with sweat when I leave. I recommend this if you have a class offered near you!

The best news? I went to the doctor last week and guess who no longer has to take Coumadin? Yep, I laugh in your face Coumadin fairy because I am finally free! The doctor said everything looks good and he therefore sees no reason why I can't come off the blood thinners. He also was happy to see that I had lost over 10 pounds since I was last there. I am beyond happy, especially since it means I can eat "diet" foods with no limits and drink alcohol again. Although I am not a big drinker, it had been 9 months so I rushed out and sucked down a frozen mudslide only to figure out the gynormous amount of calories I had consumed when I got home and searched the internet. Oh well, it sure was darned good.

Now for some really bad news (are you sitting down). *sigh* I stayed the SAME. Yes, I said it. For the 3rd week in a row I have stayed the same. Crap a duck. I exercised 5 days last week! I drank enough water to fill a bathtub and I felt like I ate good (no I didn't journal my food. It was journal or work on dissertation and the dissertation won). But overall I felt I had done well and expected to lose at least 1 pound. I don't know what has been going wrong. I feel like I only have a few options:

1) Decide I like being a big girl and work it like Queen Latifah.

2) Check my bank account and hit the mall for a "I'm buying crap I don't need to compensate for

my large rump" shopping spree.

3) Find a new tool or method to help get my weight loss back on track so I can get into those

skinny jeans before I become a grandma.

All pretty good options, but I decided on number 3. February has been such a waste for me in terms of weight loss. I will just have to realize that and move on in order to make March a stellar month. First I analyzed my problem. I am exercising pretty well and am therefore burning some calories but apparently I am taking in enough calories to balance it out since I am NOT losing weight. So I did some research. What I need is something that can help me figure out if I am burning more calories than I am taking in.

I stumbled upon the GoWear Fit (see picture on the right) and spent over 3 hours reading reviews and looking at their website. This little gadget is worn on your arm under your clothes and tells you how many calories you burn throughout the day (whether you are working, grocery shopping or exercising). It also counts your steps, tells you if you meet your daily goals (in terms of calories expended and steps) and gives you a full readout when you plug it into your computer of what you have done for the day and what you still need to do in order to lose weight for the week. It is made by the same company that makes the Bodybugg worn by the contestants on The Biggest Loser. It was expensive (they have packages ranging from $159 to $234) but I feel it will give me the accurate data I need to get this "lifestyle change" in gear. I will let you know how its working as soon as I get it (Its backordered or sold out on most sites so it will not ship until the 1st week of March). I hope the reviews are right and this will work for me. Lets all click our heels together and chant (like Dorothy in the wizard of Oz): "There's nothing like technology... there's nothing like technology" and hopefully we will all be transported to a place where everyone's thin and skinny jeans grow on trees.....

Pill clipart was taken from #1freeclipart

Photos and information regarding the GoWear Fit can be found at their website

I Know How to Maintain My Weight, Isn't That Great!?

2009-02-15T15:30:00.000-08:00

Ok, I have a little song for you, everyone sing along (to the tune of The Farmer in the Dell):

The fat girl stays the same

Hi-ho, the derry-o

The fat girl stays the same

Yes, I stayed the same this week. I know how to maintain my weight, aren't you proud? The only problem is my butt is still the size of Montana. In the past 2 weeks I have managed to either maintain or slightly gain. What the heck happened to my slow (but steady) weight loss? The only thing I can figure that messed me up this week was my being sick. I was sick for 3-4 days and when I'm sick all I want to do is curl up in the bed and whine. So I didn't exercise but 2 days the whole week, didn't log my food in my on-line journal and drank a lot of orange juice. BUT, I still expected to lose weight! I mean really, is that too much to ask?

So when I weighed and saw that I had stayed the same I felt grumpy, chubby and discouraged. I mean come on, who plateaus after only losing 13 pounds? I knew what I had to do to make myself feel better. Exercise? Uh, no. Eat a salad? Nope. Shop? Your darn skippy. Nothing makes you feel better than getting a bunch of new crap you don't need (and its calorie free too). Aren't these shoes I got just fab? They look all casual and comfy, just my style. Neutral toned Sketchers. Excellent, but my broken spirit wasn't fixed yet. I needed more things!

Since clothes shopping is even more torturous than eating right, I stuck to the shoe department. And what did I find peeking out at me from the sale rack? These cranberry colored Converse low tops. Who could resist? I already have hi tops in black and in white, but I needed a little color in my life. So into the cart they went. I was starting to feel better already.

Final stop Dillards. Seeing as how I was going to have to live with a double chin for a while longer I decided I needed something else to help me to take the focus off my wasted week.

It had to be something good. As I wandered through the purse section something shiny and black caught my eye. "Hello there" it whispered, "don't you want to take me home?" It was a beautiful, blingy Kathy Van Zeeland purse beckoning to me from across the room. It looked downright yummy and had the matching wallet too. "Yes" I whispered back, "You will be mine." So, even though my weight loss efforts were temporarily stagnant this week, I was still able to salvage the situation and come out triumphant. I hope that things change and I experience a nice weight loss next week. But if not, there is a great pair of Kenneth Cole sunglasses that I have been eyeing.......

Sorry, Dissertation Calls and I must Answer

2009-02-08T14:48:00.000-08:00

I look forward to writing my blog every week. It is very therapeutic for me (and also helps me to stay on track with my lifestyle change). Today, however, I am only allowing myself a few minutes to jump on and post a short update. I have been working on my dissertation all week which is why I look like the twin of this poor fellow on the right. Finally, I am about to finish a very long (hard, inhumane, mind-numbing) portion of the "paper" (lets call it what it is..... a book) which will allow me to progress to the next phase. Therefore I am spending all my free time trying to get it done!

Also, as if I wasn't being tortured enough, I weighed and I had a bit of a gain (0.4 pounds). Great. That is just the slimy cherry on the moldy cake called life (I know ... I'm just a ray of sunshine today). I exercised really hard this past week so am not sure what happened with that (surely all that kickboxing pain wasn't for nothing). I thought I ate good all week, but didn't keep my food journal since I was so busy. For all I know I really ate enough food to feed a small village and was just in denial about it. *Sigh* The way I see it I have a few options:

1) quit working on the dissertation so I can focus all my attention on weight loss (just joking..... I think.... can't really remember why I wanted to be a "doctor" in the first place)

2) make up an excuse to make me feel better about the gain like "I'm just retaining water" (yeah and steak, and pizza), or "I'm building muscle" (right alongside the new fat cells), or "my scale is probably not working right" (my wii fit groaned when I got on and hollered out "that's obese" like it always does) , or my personal favorite "I tried something new which is just as good as losing weight" (what the hell ever).

3) or I can work the entire program like I know I should. Drink lots of water, journal all my food and exercise hard 4-5 days this week so I can see good results. Crap. Number 3 here I come.

Clip art obtained from: FreeGraphics

I Ventured Into the Land of Fit People

2009-02-05T15:04:00.000-08:00

Yes, my friends, it happened. My daughter somehow convinced me to go with her to a kickboxing class. The conversation went something like this:

Shelby: Mom, I've been going to this kickboxing class and it really is great.

Me: Thats nice.

Shelby: It really works you out. I have been sore for days!

Me: Thats nice.

Shelby: We should go tonight.

Me: Thats nice....but thats gotta be a no! (Big girl + Kickboxing = Unattractive Awkwardness and Heart Attack).

Shelby: Come on Mom. It goes by so fast (total lie, felt like I was dying for two days). There are old people in there (total lie again, 50's or younger). Not everyone is skinny (liar, liar, pants on fire) and we will have lots of fun (Umm, pain does not equal fun).

To make a short story shorter, guess where I ended up at 6pm last night? I should have known what was up when the Grace Jones look-a-like in the military spandex took her place at the front of the room. Hip, funky music filled the room and she immediately launched into some punching and kicking. I stood there (in the back of the room of course) wondering where in the heck was the "warm up"? I later figured out that this chick was not concerned with warming up, cooling down or breathing (I quit breathing somewhere around the 5 minute mark). I kicked, punched, hopped, twisted, ran and twirled. Half the time I didn't know if I was coming or going, but I didn't pass out, puke or collapse so I figure I was doing pretty good.

Sometime during the hour, the painful fog lifted enough for me to notice something weird. All of the people were chanting in unison like some kind of cult. If she hollered "upper cut", everyone yelled "one, two, upper cut! three, four, upper cut!" I looked around wondering how they could find enough breathe to talk. At one point she yelled out "Want some more"?! Thank God I didn't yell out "no" (it was right on the tip of my tongue). The fitness obsessed cult members all chanted as if on cue "Bring it! We'll take it!" Creepiest crap I've ever seen. The pain kicked back in at that point and the rest of the class is a blur. I am not sure which leg hurt more, the one that was kicking or the one that was having to hold up my big butt all by itself! Overall, this is what I learned:

1) That there is no "happy place" in kickboxing class

2) That skinny people actually enjoy pain

3) That my brand of deodorant works

4) That I can keep my rotundus arse moving for a full hour straight

The picture to your left is the culprit who tried to kill me. Cute but deadly. Might take some time before I fully trust her again (she will lead you to the wolves with a smile on her face). I am only slightly sore (surprise, surprise) but I do seem to "stiffen up" every time I sit still for longer than 20 minutes. In a weird sort of way, I am proud of myself. Even though I modified some of the moves (my leg does NOT go higher than my waist and probably never will), I never quit. I am also pretty sure that despite all the "issues" I had, I probably burned some serious fattage. Will I ever go back? Your darn skippy. Call me a glutton for punishment, but I guess torture can be kinda awesome especially when you get to experience it with a bunch of fitness freaks (eyes glazed over, sweat rolling, and spandex gleaming). You gotta love it.

Fabulous kickboxing clip art and animated gif was taken from Blackpool Karate (and I didn't Photoshop them, aren't you proud?)

The One Pound Transformation

2009-02-01T05:22:00.000-08:00

Today is a good day. I weighed yesterday and am quite happy with the results. Did I lose 3 pounds? Nope. How about 2 pounds? Nope. I lost a big, fat pound and a half. So why am I happy about that? Well, even though I fussed and moaned about losing 1 measly pound last week I have now had a transformation (no, not of body.... I'm still chunky) but of mind. I am so happy with the 1-1/2 pounds that I got a little something for you Yoda. Here you go buddy, some yummy trail mix and a cherry lollipop (that fits nicely tucked in your little belt)! I think I am finally beginning to understand the Force and have definitely learned a thing or two about patience.

Let me explain what happened that made me change my mind. As I said before, I am on blood thinners and my INR (blood test results) are suppose to be between 2.0 and 2.5. For the last three weeks it has ranged between 1.7 and 1.9. So I went on the internet researching what to eat while on Coumadin to make sure I was not messing up the results with my diet.

As I looked at website after website I noticed that they all said you should not be dieting while on Coumadin. What the crap! My doctor never told me that! As a matter of fact, he was the one acting like my fairy godmother with his whole "I wish you would lose some weight" comment. None of the sites said why you shouldn't try to lose weight so I made the mistake of googling "Coumadin and weight loss". Thousands of sites popped up, all with the same theme. Tons and tons of people who have GAINED weight while on Coumadin! As a read story after story of people who have gained 10-40 pounds and who cannot seem to lose it, I became darn happy to be losing anything at all! Many of these people are depressed, experience fatigue and/or shortness of breathe when trying to exercise.

After reading this I decided to shut my chubby lips and count my blessings no matter how small! The Coumadin fairy giveth and she can taketh away! (And yes, I picture her as some thin, slinky little vixen with an attitude problem.... did I mention I hate her?) Also compounding the problem is the fact that while on Coumadin you are suppose to avoid foods that are high in vitamin K. What foods would this be? Well of course it is "diet" type foods such as lettuce, green leafy vegetables, etc. Leave it to me to be put on the one medication that actually limits healthy foods. Just another wonderful hurdle I have to cross (bring it on, I'm fighting you all the way with a carrot stick in one hand and some sugar-free applesauce in the other)!

On a positive note, I went to see the traveling Broadway show Hairspray. It was fabulous! We made a big night of it and went to dinner at a hip new downtown restaurant before the show. The only downer? The pictures we took before leaving. Ugh. And I thought I was looking thinner (psych)! Anyway, my teenagers really enjoyed the show too (I had a 15 year old girl singing in one ear and an 18 year old boy humming in the other). You have got to love a story where a chubby girl is the star. Yep, Tracy Turnblad, your my hero. Singing and dancing without a care in the world (you were working those chubby thighs girl.... truly fabulous). Too bad it doesn't work that way in real life. How come you never see a hefty girl in a sparking dress at Publix, with the hot guy by her side and a whole shopping cart full of Twinkies?

Fairy Clip Art obtained from FreeClipArtPictures (and I used Photoshop because I'm addicted).

Hairspray photo is copyrighted by Chris Bennion (2006) and was obtained from the website HairsprayOnTour

The Setback, the Stalker and the Banana Wars

2009-01-28T14:37:00.000-08:00

Lets start with the banana wars. What has this world come to when people pass up the Hershey kisses, mixed nuts and snack cakes to fight over a few bananas? Or to be exact what has my household come to when I literally want to smack my "better" half (already bony and therefore does not need a banana husband) and my clueless spawn (teenager just eating the banana to balance out the Little Debbie and Doritos she just inhaled) for sneaking my bananas. Let me set this up for you. I bought just enough bananas to get me through my "I am trying to lose more than a pound so I don't have to kill anyone" week. I put them in the windowsill so they will be easy for ME to grab. I get home and notice there is only one banana left! What the.....! I of course launched a full investigation only to discover my daughter ate them. "Don't you want me to eat healthy foods?" she asked with a sad little pout. Umm..... NO. I want ME to eat healthy foods and you to keep your grubby little paws off my bananas. Eat healthy on your own time and dime! Then my "better" half wandered into the kitchen and caught the last part of the conversation. He said, "Well I didn't realize the bananas were a free for all or I would have eaten one too." I may have to choke them both. Luckily for me, my son does not seem to realize bananas are actually in a food group. Lets keep it that way.

Now lets discuss the stalker. This is Moe Moe and yes I love him dearly, but apparently he did not get the memo that stalking is illegal in all 50 states. He watches me like a hawk and follows me all around the house. This is kinda cute except when I am trying to blog, eat, exercise, work on my dissertation, bathe, clean..... well you get the picture. When I am stepping on my step he will wedge himself up against it till I'm done. When I have my computer in my lap trying to work, he will lay as close as he can and then place a paw on my arm and give me the "stare down"(See picture for an example of his "why is mommy ignoring me look"). I love him but sometimes it is a bit much. I'm almost to the point where I am going to buy one of those baby carriers and wedge his little rump in it and strap it to my back. Then maybe I will not have to feel him bang into the back of my leg every time I stop suddenly. Oh and for the record, guess who is on the pillow next to me with his chin resting on my laptop? Someone needs to seriously get a life.

And finally we have the setback. Remember my plan to drink water, journal and exercise every single day? Well..... I guess 2 out of 3 isn't too shabby. I started on Saturday and I have written in my online journal every morsel that has passed through these chubby lips. I have also drunk enough water to hydrate a small country for at least a month. I have tried my best to exercise everyday too. On Saturday I went to the gym and speed walked on the treadmill for a full hour (part of which was at a 3.0 incline). Then on Sunday I did the elliptical machine for a full hour which burned over 600 calories! Monday I stepped on my step for a full hour while I watched all the crying fools on The Bachelor. I tell you I could feel fat droplets rolling off my butt with every step (Err...I mean sweat droplets :0). So what the hay is the problem? Well, after exercising so hard for 3 days straight, I all of a sudden didn't feel well. I hoped it was just a fluke but the next day I felt even worse. The dang symptoms were really familiar: aching chest, shortness of breathe, heart pounding, anxiety, "fluttering" lungs, etc. It was those crappy symptoms that always seem to want to creep up every time I think I am finally becoming halfway normal. It has been 8 months since I had the multiple bilateral pulmonary embolisms (or in easier terms several life threatening blood clots in each lungs). These symptoms always make me scared and anxious. I decided not to exercise last night since I really wasn't breathing well. I was so stressed because the last time this happened, I felt bad for weeks. :( Now for the good news. I got up this morning and I have felt so much better today! I am going to doing some stepping while I watch American Idol or Lost. Even though I missed a day, I feel like I had a pretty good excuse. I also decided this condition isn't going to get me down. The picture above is of my Coumadin (blood thinner) that I take daily. I covered the label with my own label that says "You shall overcome" (Don't worry all the pertinent info is still on the other side). This way I will get a dose of encouragement with every dose of medication. I'm pressing on with this condition through prayer and determination (ok, and yes the occasional Xanax if a panic attack creeps up on me). Just want you all to know I'm still working the program and am hoping for good results on Saturday.

Endnote: My daughter just arrived home and I could not help but holler "Hi Banana stealer!" as she came through the door. My daughter responded "Sorry mom but those bananas were speaking to me" (whatever!) Anyone know where they sell bananas that only speak Chinese or that yell "Step off" when approached?

Banana picture was obtained from FreeClipArtPictures (and I of course used photoshop).

Is the glass half empty or half full? I think my glass may be broken.

2009-01-24T14:06:00.000-08:00

Ok. It is Saturday. The day I stress out, then hope for the best as I drag my big butt on the scale. I don't know if it is just me but I seem to have an allergic reaction to weighing. This morning I was both excited and nervous to see the results. Please (I begged the ghost of diets past) let the hard work pay off! When I saw the results I was not sure how to feel. One pound lost! Ok, ok. I sorta remember saying that I would be perfectly happy if I lost at least 1 pound per week. Well I lied. I am happy kinda. One pound lost is one pound closer to my goal. But I also was hoping for more since at this rate I might be retired before I reach my ideal weight. Why can't I lose 3 pounds per week? Oh yeah .... I can't lose that much because I actually like food. Crap.

So why have I posted a shirtless man on my blog? Because I want to show you what I live with, literally. I'm not saying that everyone around me should be unhealthy just because I am but

darn, aren't birds of a feather suppose to flock together? This shirtless wonder is my husband of 19 years. Weren't we suppose to grow old and fat together? But no, he has gotten fitter with age, and I have gotten fluffier. *sigh* Then to add insult to injury here are the two specimens I birthed, both of whom are fit and attractive (not sure what is going on with the shirtless thing... maybe I need to do some laundry). Where in this fit and fabulous family equation does a Oompah Loompah fit in? I sometimes feel like the odd man out. I want to be slender and attractive too so I won't have to keep positioning my daughter in front of me to block the bulge every time pictures are taken. Crap. Crap.

Reflecting on my weight loss this week it was apparent what needs to be done. I must press on and continue to fight the good fight. I also need to step it up another notch. So of course that meant hitting the gym. Sounds good in theory but unfortunately my time at the gym this morning

was not pleasant. I could not get in the zone and every song on my ipod just seem to irritate me. I finally settled on Natasha Bedingfield's "Pocket Full of Sunshine". As I sang along (I got a pocket, got a pocket full of whoppers.... I mean Sunshine) I began to think of a fabulous place (Take me away.... a secret place) Yes Natasha, a secret place where french fries are diet food and water taste like a Starbucks White Chocolate Mocha with whip cream and 3 Splendas. Dang, why does everything remind me of great food? I managed to press on until my legs ached and my shirt was damp. During the hour of working out I decided that I was going to try an experiment this week. I will exercise everyday for 30 min to 1 hour regardless, I will drink my 8 glasses of water everyday regardless and I will journal my food intake everyday regardless (Ugh!). I pay $12 a month for weight watchers online, might as well use it. I am going to focus on doing these three things religiously and see what the scale says next Saturday. I hope I can convince myself I am having fun. Crap. Crap. Crap.

In closing I thought I would clarify that I am happy that my family is fit, funny and fabulous. I wouldn't wish this weight problem on anyone. It just kinda sucks being the only one in the house who belongs to the Pudgy Club. I also must point out that my unhappiness with my current state does not have anything to do with them. My hubby is supportive and never has said a word about my weight. It has fluctuated up, down and sideways over the years and he has always acted like he does not notice it. I guess the person I am really mad at is........ is....... Yoda. Yes, this is Yoda's fault. I believed in the Force and all it gave me was a pound. I am NOT happy with you Yoda. That is why I rigged up a little surprise for you. Next week better be different or you get the noose. Kidding I'm not. May the Force be with you my little green friend.

The waiting is the hardest part

2009-01-21T16:46:00.000-08:00

So what is the hardest part about this lifestyle change? The waiting! I am all about instant gratification. When I want it, I want it now. Society has made everything so fast and simple. If anything is not fast or simple I fall out of my tree! For example, if the internet page does not load within 5 seconds I start chanting at the screen "come on, come on, come on!" then if it has been more than 15 seconds I start yelling "What the heck is wrong with the internet"! I will be the first to admit that I'm spoiled, but aren't we all? Now after all that spoiling, I am suppose to learn to be patient, enjoy the process of changing my life and worst of all.... wait! And all of this without the comfort of Twinkies? This sucks. All this "dieting" is messing with my head, I promise you I think I passed the sign above on my way home from work. I wondered if it meant something, the long dark braid and double chin looked somehow familiar......

There is nothing anyone can tell me to make me glad that the process is going to take a while, probably a pretty long while (especially if I keep only losing 0.2 pounds at a time)! I KNOW the slower it comes off, the longer it stays off. I KNOW a lot will be learned along this journey. I KNOW you should love yourself regardless (dimply thighs and all), I KNOW whatever doesn't kill you makes you stronger. But (insert whiney voice here) I want to be fabulous NOW, *pouts*. So before you get uninspired by my negativity, let me reassure you that I AM working the program. I'm drinking water like it is going out of style, I have exercised everyday for the last 3 days (and when I say exercised I mean can't find a happy place and drenched in sweat kind of exercising) and I have eaten good too. I KNOW I will eventually succeed at this. I KNOW when I do it will feel amazing and I KNOW that even if you can't eat a Twinkie, you can always make yourself into one (doesn't Photoshop rock)?

So how do I plan to get through this difficult waiting period? Well, I plan to hang out with you guys (so you better not abandon me in my time of need), I plan to try new exercises and foods, I plan to keep making myself into food items, and I plan to think about wearing skinny jeans. But most importantly I plan to remember. Remember what? I thought you would never ask. I plan to remember how fabulous it feels to reach your goal. To feel attractive, sexy, healthy and energetic. It has only been a few years since I felt that way and I can remember that nothing I have ever eaten tasted as good as that felt. If you can remember than focus on that. If you have

never had the pleasure of feeling that way then take my word for it, it is amazing and life changing. So I leave you now with this fabulous art image. Anyone who can combine fattening food with historical art has got to have a special talent! How fabulous is this Twinkie Stone Henge? Obviously someone else is mourning their Twinkies too. Why else would you play with them and not eat them?

Photos were taken from (in order of their appearance) FreePhoto (Photoshop used), Google Images (Photoshop used like crazy) and FanPop (Twinkie art..... yum)

I am NOT gonna play the "stay the same" game!

2009-01-18T13:51:00.001-08:00

Yesterday was my official weigh day. I had a weird feeling before I even stepped on the scale because I just didn't feel skinnier! I forced myself to get on the wii fit, crossed my fingers and hoped for the best. As I squinted at the screen with one eye I couldn't believe what I saw. Weight loss for this week was 0.2. (no that is NOT 2 pounds, the decimals are correct). Down 0.2? What is that a fraction of a pound? Seriously? That technically is staying the same! That 0.2 is probably just the jagged fingernail I chewed off right before I stepped on the scale. How in the world did I stay pretty much the same? I exercised at least 4 out of the 7 days, drank some water, and ate mostly low fat. Although happy I did not gain, I still was pretty peeved. For my picture this week I decided to place my buddy Yoda on the scale because I figure I am going to need all the help I can get. The force better be with me next week because I refuse to play this "stay the same" game. Believe me, I am not trying to maintain this girth.

So now that I have had a day to cool off I realize what must be done. I have to pick myself up and move forward especially since it was only last week that I was babbling about climbing up that proverbial mountain. I started to analyze what may have gone wrong. I exercised

4 days but I could have done more. Two of those days were moderate intensity, only 2 were hard enough to make me sweat. That is not good. I also had some food weaknesses. I remember eating pizza, Taco Bell and some other crap. Also, I don't think I was as diligent with my water. *sigh* Time to come up with a new game plan for next week. One major thing I have decided to do has to do with these before and after pictures. No, they are not pictures of myself (I am not ready yet to post pictures of myself in all my rotund glory) but rather pictures of my extra closet... um, I mean my treadmill. As you can see in this first picture, I have been using my treadmill for extra storage (yes, there is a treadmill under there). Our bulldog is in the shot too. Despite me chanting "Move Dozer, move Dozer, move Dozer", he just looked at me like I was stupid so I gave up and just took a picture with him in it. The reason I took a picture of my messy treadmill was to prove a point. Does this look like the treadmill of someone who is serious about losing weight? Nope, it unfortunately does not. I have got to get a grip and realize it is going to take a lot of consistent effort to get where I want to go. I decided to give my treadmill a makeover so that I could actually drag my big butt on it.

Much to the delight of my husband I cleaned almost everything off of it and then hung a picture of my own artwork over it. It looks much better don't you think? Now I can actually use it without having to use a fork lift to remove all my junk. With this in mind I dragged it so I could see the t.v. and put it one of my Angel dvd's. I love that show (and miss it along with my funny Buffy shows). Also, because I have it on dvd, I don't have to suffer through the commercials. I played two episodes (approximately 45 minutes each and did a run/walk combination). I walked at 3.0 speed for 5 minutes, then jogged at at a 3.3 to 3.5 speed for 5 minutes. I alternated like this for the entire two shows. That resulted in 35 minutes of running and 55 minutes of walking. Take that you stupid little 0.2 pounds! I plan to work hard like this for at least 5 days this week and I better see results. I also am going to drink LOTS of water this week (drown those fat cells) with 8 glasses being the minimum. Today I have already had 8 full glasses and will still get in a few more before bed. Also I will have to watch my food intake more closely. Possibly even journal it so I can make sure I am not eating too much. This is going to be the hardest part for me because food and me are chums. Its pretty hard to lose a close friend but apparently I cannot indulge like I did last week and still lose. See you in another, skinnier lifetime Steak Grill Stuffed Burrito!

So this is the part where you come in Yoda. As I peer into your wise little eyes I realize I must learn the ways of the skinny warrior. Only when I give it my best will I be able to obtain the reward that I seek. I leave you all by quoting Yoda to you in my best Yoda voice (since he said it best): "Size matters not. Look at me. Judge me by my size, do you? Hmm? Hmm. And well you should not. For my ally is the Force, and a powerful ally it is. Life creates it, makes it grow. Its energy surrounds us and binds us. Luminous beings are we, not this crude matter. You must feel the Force around you; here, between you, me, the tree, the rock, yes even the cookie." (ok, I added the cookie part). Get skinnier this week and may the Force be with you!

I am the "lifestyle change" grinch.

2009-01-14T17:31:00.000-08:00

I had that feeling this morning. That grouchy, want to eat the world, why can't I be naturally skinny, skim milk sucks feeling. I probably should have known it was going to be one of those days since I woke up hungry. I'm not talking about that gentle little ripple in the pit of your stomach, I'm talking about the jerk awake sensation of your stomach trying to eat your small intestine. This was weird to me since I had somewhat "over-indulged" the night before on some Taco Bell. That fact had not made me too happy either. I'm not even really sure what happened. When my son called and asked me what I wanted him to pick me up from Taco Bell I thought my lips formed "2 crunchy tacos fresco style with a pintos and cheese". But unfortunately what came out was " a steak grill stuff burrito and a nacho supreme". What the hell! I broke a cardinal rule of dieting. You never ever order anything that has the word supreme in it and you sure as hell don't order something "stuffed". *Sigh* All of these things added up to me not feeling the love for my "lifestyle change". I think I was suffering an acute case of "early diet burnout". I was trying so hard and as we all know, this dieting stuff is not for the weak of heart. So my bad mood, hunger and stress made me so not in the mood to plan my meals and drink my water. I grudgingly ate my low fat breakfast and then packed a low-fat lunch. Even through my haze of diet frustration I knew that I was tired of looking like I should be leading a small herd of buffalo. I forced myself to do what I knew I should but I was not happy about it, not even a little. If there was any good news it is that I look pretty good as the grinch don't you think? (a little something I whipped up at work when I was suppose to be working).

So of course today was long (the grouchier you are, the longer it seems), I burned my potato trying to microwave bake it (did you know after 12 minutes in a microwave a potato shrinks to half its size and becomes hard like a rock?) and I felt like there was no way I wanted to go home and exercise. At home my slim (and therefore irritating) husband announced he was going to the gym and asked if I wanted to go. As I lay there in the bed with my fat fist shoved in a bag of baked Cheetos, it occurred to me that I was having a bad day and therefore was exempt from exercising (that is the rule isn't it?). "Nope" I replied. He drove away and I continued to munch away. Then it happened. That little person that sits on your shoulder poked me and asked me "Whatcha doing chubster?" Crud. I dropped the Cheeto bag and drug myself downstairs to my step platform. Then it occurred to me that I had the latest Biggest Loser show recorded. The perfect show for exercising. So I started out (determined to hate every minute of it) and guess where I ended up? Tired, sweaty and inspired. I stepped for an entire hour as I watched people like me (ok, people a bit bigger than me) work way harder than I had been willing to work. As I watched my steps got quicker, my breathing harder and my shirt damper. I got a great workout and then ate a dinner of lean pepper steak and a salad. Life was good again and the "lifestyle change" was back on the menu. I think I even worked hard enough to burn off that slice of pepperoni pizza! Oh, did I forget to mention that?

The Biggest Loser is a show on NBC (on Tuesdays at 8 eastern time).

Guess who belongs to the double digit club?

2009-01-10T14:57:00.001-08:00

Its Saturday, my day to weigh. I am not going to lie and say I wasn't nervous. What if all those baby steps I took all week did not result in any pounds lost? How in the world could I come on this blog and be positive as I explained I hated the mountain and was not climbing it anymore and that I had run over my wii fit with my car? It would also be pretty pitiful to post pictures of the four snickers bars I would have been forced to eat to drown out my depression! Well, no worries. I had a great week and was shocked and elated to see that I had almost lost 3 pounds! That makes 11 pounds gone so far, double digits baby! It really was exciting. I even think my mii (image that represents me on the wii fit) is looking a bit smaller. Its tummy doesn't seem to be hanging out as much as before. I decided to post an image of my mii because it is one of the reasons I love the wii fit so much. This little cartoon figure looks almost exactly like me! All my friends and family who see it die laughing. I think it is neat because it makes the wii fit seem much more personal (especially when you can see a cartoon version of yourself doing all the activities). The other thing I really like is the cute personality of the wii board on the wii fit and the funny things that occur. The picture on the right shows what I saw on the screen this morning. Notice that all the other characters (from left to right: my hubby, 15 year old daughter, me in the center, 18 year old son, and mother on the end) are sleeping! They haven't used the wii fit in a while and now all their characters do is sleep. What a hoot! Mine is all alert and jumping around since I use my wii fit several times a week. The charts are really handy too. I love being able to chart the changes in weight/BMI and set goals for the upcoming week. The only annoying thing about the wii? The way the wii board character groans when you step on the board and the cheerful, sing song voice he uses to announce "thats obese" every time I weigh. I could cheerfully choke him. I guess I'll move on from singing the wii fit's praises now (they aren't paying me to advertise after all).

I decided to reflect on what I think is the main factors for the 3 pound weight loss (yes, Im rounding up.... using my math skills). I made a lot of positive changes this past week so it is really hard to pinpoint what was most effective. Maybe it is just a combination of everything. Thinking back I exercised a lot. I used my wii fit some and walked on the airwalk once but mostly I used my step board. I would step up and down on it while I watched my favorite t.v. shows. Stepping is so easy to do and it burns a lot of calories. I think that was a major factor. I also drank a LOT of water! Plain (bland, sometimes warmish) water. Choked it down and hopefully flushed out some of that fat! I ate all those items I posted earlier, always had a healthy packed lunch, and tried hard to practice portion control. I made sure snacks were healthy also. Evidently these standard "diet" practices actually work. I would have been happy to lose only 1 pound, but by golly 3 is better! Looking long term, I hope to lose at least 5 pounds a month. I could be 20-25 pounds slimmer (half way to my goal) by summer and then lose the final 35

pounds by next Christmas! That would mean that for the first time in a long time I would not have to make a New Year's resolution to lose weight. How cool would that be? Anyways, I hope you all had a good week. If not, don't be a sore loser like I would have been. Pick yourself up and press on. Please feel free to use the comment section to tell us how you are doing and explain what is or is not working for you. I'm heading off to celebrate (no not with 4 snickers bars... dream on) with a yummy low-fat Luigi's Italian Ice and maybe some light popcorn. Now that is living!

Climbing this mountain one apple at a time

2009-01-07T16:53:00.000-08:00

I thought I would do an update on how things are going now that it is mid-week. I am amazed at how well I have been doing and really hope my efforts show up on the scale on Saturday. It is easy to plan a lifestyle change (I will start my diet on Monday ring a bell?) but it is a lot harder to actually stick to one. Have I been "perfect"? Well, that would probably depend on your definition of perfect. Did I eat a chocolate chip cookie today? Yep (and it was darn good). But... I only ate ONE. The #1 diet sabatour (otherwise known as my coworker) brought me two and I immediately threw one in the trash. That my friends is an accomplishment! Perfect would have been throwing them both in the trash right? Maybe. But for someone who just a few weeks ago would have eaten both cookies and then waddled herself to the cafeteria to get three more, I think only eating one was a huge accomplishment. Also, several days ago I ate a piece of pizza. Yes, I said pizza, the regular restaurant kind, not a frozen low-fat one. Did you notice, however, that I said a piece of pizza? That means one! I don't think I have only ate one piece of pizza since.... well.... never! This girl can usually throw down 4-5 slices without batting an eye.

One cookie equals victory. One slice of pizza equals victory. A freezer, fridge and cabinet full of healthy food equals victory. Exercising everyday but one since New Years Day equals victory. Reading articles about weight loss and following weight watchers equals victory. Drinking water (mostly plain water and yes I sometimes have to choke it down) equals victory. Not eating in the cafeteria even though I have been back to work for 3 days equals victory. Do you see where I am going with this? Think about this week so far, what have you accomplished? Did you park so far away at Walmart that you could hardly see the building? Did you take the stairs instead of the elevator? Did you make yourself get up and exercise even though you were tired? Did you eat only half the bag of Hershey kisses rather than the whole bag? (Ok, this might be getting out of hand. Put the kisses down and step away from the bag). What small or large steps have you taken toward your goal?

I really believe there is power in how you choose to view this journey. With the negative, non-constructive view you can beat yourself up over every little failure, get discouraged and wonder

how come you can't stick to a diet. With the positive, constructive view you can look at this like climbing a mountain. If the only goal is to reach the top then why not celebrate every step forward? Yes, you may slide backwards every now and then but do you get mad and huff and puff down the hill or do you stand up, brush yourself off and press forward? As long as you reach the top does it really matter how many times you slid? Does it really matter if someone reached the top before you? Does it really matter if you took the same path as everyone else? Nope. It really doesn't matter. I'm going to get up that hill, one apple (and occasional cookie) at a time. How about you?

Photos obtained from http://www.freedigitalphotos.net/

What are we chewing on this week?

2009-01-04T15:27:00.000-08:00

Ok. We are ready to do this whole lifestyle change right? I thought so too, until I looked in the cupboards and the fridge! Leftovers from the overindulgent holiday were not going to cut it! I'm back at work tomorrow after more than 2 splendid weeks off. Back to long days and stress. I don't want my new eating habits to fail (and my thighs to continue to swell) so I knew I had to go shopping and get prepared. So todays post is all about yummy products and good eating strategies. I went to Publix and I am broke but hopefully I will also be skinnier.

Here is the game plan: For breakfast I knew I had to grab something healthy, yummy (always a qualification) and fast. I bought these Bagelfuls because they are microwavable and only take 30 seconds to make. Also they are delicious! They have 4 weight watcher points (200 calories with 4 grams of fat). They are also easy to eat while you are driving. I am going to pair it with fruit. They receive 4 out of 5 stars (**** = Almost made my toes curl). Also great are these breakfast quesadillas by weightwatchers. These taste so good and are really filling. They are also microwavable which is important to me since I move so slow in the morning. They have 4 weight watchers points (220 calories with 6 grams of fat). When I am really hungry I have been known to eat them both. They receive 5 out of 5 stars (***** = Delusionville! Makes you think eating low fat is fun). I also bought oatmeal, eggbeaters, and cereal just in case I ever wake up early enough to eat them. If not, I can eat them on the weekend or at night when I am feeling for breakfast items or something lighter than the normal dinner items. I usually drink water with these items and then have a cup of coffee at work (with low fat creamer and Splenda of course). Moving on:

Lunch is a challenge. Especially since I eat with 5 other coworkers everyday (who typically eat what they want which makes me want to eat that stuff too!) I mean who wants to nibble on a salad when everyone else is eating cafeteria food and/or leftovers from favorite restaurants? I therefore knew I had to pack my lunch, making sure it was filling and taste good otherwise I won't be able to fight the temptation. I decide to buy grill chicken breast strips with low-fat honey mustard, onions and mushrooms to grill up, fruit, cottage cheese, mashed potatoes, baked potatoes, vegetables such as corn, green beans and carrots, lean ham for sandwiches, a few lean prepackaged meals, baked chips, and salad. I am determined to eat what I bring and not waddle my chubby behind into the fried hole of doom (school cafeteria). Dinners will be lean meats such as chicken, steak and fish. Vegetables, whole grain carbs, fat free hot dogs, soup, low fat quesadillas, light caesar salad, pasta with lots of veggies, pepper steak over rice, etc. If I figure out something fabulous to make I will be sure to post it. Hopefully I won't scarf it down before I think to take a picture!

So what about snacks? So many diets out there have the attitude that fluffy people don't need snacks. I am a snacker. I snack, therefore I am. I usually want a snack between breakfast and lunch (if my breakfast was not really filling) or at night before bed. I made sure to have the snack category covered! I bought weight watchers ice cream cones (4 stars!), weightwatchers cakes (4 stars, too small to get 5 stars although they are delicious), and these new milk chocolate pretzel things which I haven't tried yet. I'll let you know.

I also got baked Doritos, Cheetos, and Ruffles sour cream and cheddar chips (Hold on...... I'm drooling). Ok. I got almonds (only allowed to have 14 a day) and celery. Also fruit. And of course I got my Luigi's Italian Ice. Love that stuff. Unfortunately I couldn't get my favorite flavors (Mango and Pina Colada) because they were sold out so I settled for Lemon and

Strawberry. These little treats only have 120 per container with 0 grams of fat! No fat, taste great and takes me more than 3 minutes to eat. These babies get 5 stars! I do want to point out that I am not going to be snacking all day! There is no way I would lose weight if I ate all of these or even several of these in the same day. I am going to try to limit myself to 250 calories or less from snacks a day. That would be 4 or 5 points depending on the fat and grams of fiber. The last snack I must talk about is Betty Crockers Warm Delight Minis. Omg! They are sooooo good and only take less than two minutes to make. The downside? You will lick the container, even if you have to take it into the bathroom. Definitely 5 stars!

So this is the game plan for the first full week doing my lifestyle change. I will be back to post mid-week and then again on Saturday with an update on weight loss (if any... *slap*... think positive). If you have any must have foods or products that help you stay on track, make sure to post them in the comments section. I am always on the lookout, especially for 4 or 5 star foods! I hope this has given you some great ideas for what you may want to eat this week. Before I leave you I must unfortunately post an avoidance product. See below and beware! Till we meet again eat healthy and actually try to enjoy it! Skinny jeans will be in my closet.... skinny jeans will be in my closet..... yep, they will be ..... come h*ll or high water.

*Warning: Avoidance* Ok. I don't have anything against the makers of this product but when I spend hard earned money and then am disappointed I feel I must say something. I mean come

on, don't they have people at the plant that test these products? These Jimmy Dean Turkey Sausage English Muffins leave a lot to be desired. They are a good size, and therefore filling which is why they did not receive only 1 star (* = I should have eaten the packaging instead, it probably would have taste better). I instead gave it 2 stars (** = what in the heck fire am I eating and why am I still chewing it) because it really tasted bland and had a texture kinda like a rubber glove. I tried to drown it out with ketchup but unfortunately ketchup doesn't taste good on rubber either. Jimmy Dean may know sausage but they may want to leave the low fat foods to companies with taste testers (and taste buds!)

Post Holiday Miracle

2009-01-03T12:48:00.000-08:00

I experienced a holiday miracle! No this is not a picture of myself (that indeed would be a holiday miracle) but instead is a picture of the "skinny" jeans I hope to one day wear. A little dose of inspiration since I am feeling pretty good. My holiday miracle has to do with the scale. I decided I needed to weigh and check my BMI in order to see what holiday damage had occurred. Before the holidays (approx. 28 days ago) I had weighed and it had shown a 7 pound weight loss. I was worried that I had gained some or all of that back especially since I had eaten my way through a plate of 7 layer bean dip on Christmas Eve and had 2 slices of chocolate cake the day after Christmas. So I weighed today and not only have I managed to keep off the 7 pounds, but I have also lost an additional pound! Life is good. I really expected to see a gain and so had prepared myself for the worst. I was determined that no matter what it said I would take it as a temporary setback and work hard to lose it again. I am so glad I can just move forward and do not have to lose the same pounds over again. Thanks Santa (or the New Years Fairy) for the unexpected gift.

I am soooo sore! On New Years Day I worked out twice for 2 hours. The next day I could hardly walk. I hobbled around like a 90 year old man! My husband told me he did not think I should exercise since I was so sore. He encouraged me to take the day off (easy to say when you are already slender and fit). I refused. How am I going to fit in my skinny jeans unless I work out everyday? I used my step platform for an hour last night even though my calfs were screaming the whole time! I slept horrible all night since my legs were throbbing. I got up this morning, took a hot bath to loosen them up and then went to

the gym where I did the airwalk machine for an hour. Whenever it gets hard (like it did today), I listen to my favorite music and envision myself in a fabulous pair of faded skinny jeans or a sexy black dress. Works every time!

Aren't these jeans fabulous? I love low-cut jeans but don't wear them right now since they would create a muffin top effect in my current chubby state. What are your inspirations? Is there a certain outfit or piece of clothing that you envision yourself in? I find it to be great motivation. I'm gonna own at least 10 fabulous pairs and wear them with snug, artsy, faded t-shirts (*sigh*). Ok, enough with the daydreaming, lets talk about some tips that will actually get us there.

I posted in the Etsy forums to try and get some tips about what has worked for others as far as weight loss goes. One Etsy shop owner Sparklerama (http://sparklrama.etsy.com) has lost almost 70 pounds over the last 9 months! She gave some really good advice which I am going to post here (my comments to her suggestions are the ones inside the parenthesis like this). here is what she had to say:

1) Attitude is the key. Visualize yourself succeeding and watch you "self talk". (This is so important! If you know you can succeed, you will. If you think you will fail, you will. I think this is finally the reason I am starting to lose weight again. I am determined and know I can succeed. I use self talk all the time but especially when Krispy Kreme is calling me!)

2) Basically just eat a well rounded diet low in fats and sugars, etc. Just eat healthy. (We all know what kind of eating this entails. Whether you follow a national diet plan or wing it on your own, don't lie to yourself! Self talk should not be used to convince yourself that fried chicken fingers is lean protein!)

3) Don't "diet", make a lifestyle change. Eat foods you enjoy and can eat for the rest of your life. Splurge a little now and then. (Great advice. Sometimes I call what I am doing a diet but I most definitely mean "lifestyle change". I have to be able to follow these principles forever and therefore try to find a reasonable way in which to lose weight. Fad diets do not work, especially in the long run. And I do believe in splurging sometimes, 7 layer dip and chocolate cake ring a bell?)

4) Exercise more days than you don't. I work out 6 days a week, but 4 out of 7 days would be fine too. (This is so important! I am determined to get in at least 4 days of exercise a week but hopefully can stayed hyper enough to do 6 or 7!)

5) Exercise HARD. I see SO many women at the gym who I can tell are afraid to get sweaty... and they don't lose ANY weight! Work out like a man, seriously. (If it feels good then you are not working hard enough. It was so hard today on the airwalk. Seriously, I had to find a happy place. When I got off my t-shirt was damp with sweat. A stroll around the block is not going to shrink a fat arse).

6) Focus on cardio and add some weight training as well. The main thing is to do activities you ENJOY. Remember you are working on a lifestyle change. Do activities you enjoy because you will need to be active for the rest of your life! I enjoy running, boxing, ballet, racquetball, and much more. It's good to mix it up. Do at least 45 minutes of cardio each session. (I do not feel like I have worked out unless I have done at least 45 minutes of activity. I try to do an hour if possible. I haven't started any weight training yet but plan to do some soon. If I enjoy it at least somewhat then it is easier to do. I like to listen to music or watch t.v. to help me forget the pain. I really like using the wii fit, airwalk, step platform and walking outside. Do what feels good or at least do something tolerable).

7) Break up your goals into small achievable goals. My main goal is to lose 80 lbs. If that is all I focus on then I will be discouraged quick because it takes a long time to lose that weight. Focus on other goals so you can feel successful throughout your journey. (Amen! Too big of a goal will leave you feeling discouraged. I focus on losing 10 pounds at a time. My goal for a week is just 1 pound lost. If I lose more than that great, but as long as I lose a pound I'm good. Focusing on 10 pounds is so much easier and more attainable than focusing on 50, 80 or 100!)

8) I am constantly setting goals to improve in running times and distances as well as improving and learning racquetball, etc. My newest goal is to be able to do 10 chin-ups! And I continue to set and meet goals all the time. (Yes, keep pushing yourself!)

Sparklerama also gave me the link to CaloriesPerHour, a great site with tons of information. Thanks Sparklerama for these great tips and congrats on your 70 (soon to be 80 I'm sure) pound weight loss. You are an inspiration!

Well thats all for today. Tomorrow I am going to post what kind of food I plan to eat over the next week with breakfast, lunch and dinner ideas. Also, if you have an inspiration, tip or general comment be sure to post in the comments section! And, if you haven't already read the comments posted. They are great, especially those from my sister who is fighting the same battle. She's a trip! I hope to have her be a guest writer soon since she always has something good (and hilarious) to say. Till next time focus on your inspiration whether it be skinny jeans, a sexy black dress, short shorts or spandex. Well.... you may want to skip the spandex.

Guess what today is? D-day!

2009-01-01T15:12:00.000-08:00

Well it is here, the official first day of my diet (oops, I meant lifestyle change). So far so good. I decided today to do two workouts. I know I may not be able to do that often but since it was the first day and I was feeling psyched, I decided to go for it. So workout number one occurred this morning. I decided to use my step platform (one of 3 cardio "fitness" equipments I own including the wii fit and a treadmill). I put on a recorded episode of the Biggest Loser that I had not seen yet and started stepping up and down on my step platform. I did this for an entire hour. When I got done I was tired and sweaty so I feel like it was a pretty good workout. I do not like to exercise in general but find the step platform easy to use. I can drag it out from under the bed with no setup required. It is fast and easy. It is also important to watch a show you really like so that you forget your exercising. I like to record the program if possible so I can fast forward through the commercials which are otherwise pure torture.

For the second workout I decided to use my wii fit. I really love it and I haven't been able to use it for a while due to the holidays and being sick. This product is really neat and is one of the main reasons I had (hopefully still have) already lost 7 pounds. It is really neat how it tracks your weight and your BMI for you. Don't worry, you can password protect your information so that only you can see it (and you KNOW I use that feature!). The activities are pretty fun so it feels like you are playing a game rather than just working out. I decided to focus on the cardio again so that I can jump start the weight loss. I worked out for another hour (this hour was done in the early evening so I had a break between workouts). I did step aerobics (beginners once, advanced once), boxing (beginners once, advanced once), running (slow jog in place on island lap setting) and then did the free step for 30 minutes while listening to my i-pod. Once again, I was sweaty so hopefully I burned some major calories.

So exercise was out of the way for today. I also focused on drinking water. So far today I am at 5 glasses (8oz each). I will try to get in a few more before bed. The other focus was food. I skipped breakfast because I was so busy and therefore ate my major meal at lunch. I had a big salad with fat-free french dressing, olives, veggies and bacon bits. I also had a baked potato with a spoonful of chili and sour cream. And for dessert I had low-fat ice cream with carmel. Now, I know this doesn't sound exactly like a diet meal, but I had plenty of points and I was careful to keep track of them. I also exercised twice which gave me more points which I haven't used yet (and probably won't use). Since I ate lunch late I plan to eat very light for supper. Probably have an omelet made with eggbeaters and some toast.

So a quick overview of what I plan to do:

1) exercise at least 5 days a week. Minimum of 45 minutes. I would like really like to exercise 7-8 times a week for an hour or more but as long as I do at least 5 a week I feel that is a good start. I plan to do mostly cardio at first by using my step platform, wii fit, treadmill, going to the YMCA and using their airwalk machine (and on occasion their weight machines), and when weather is nice speed walking the neighborhood or at the greenway (local walking park). I am going to try to occasionally use the weight machines, my free weights at home and the yoga and strength training options on the wii fit to start toning and building muscle.

2) follow the weight watchers program, staying within my point range and logging all my food. I decided on this program because it was the one I used previously when I lost 70 pounds. I know people that choose to count calories and fat grams instead and have good success with that so I guess it doesn't have to be weight watchers. I am just use to the program and know almost all the points values. My mom has lost over 30 pounds and she just focuses on portion size and eating large amounts of protein. I am going to try to increase my protein whenever possible and try not to eat large amounts of carbs based on her success with that approach. So that means lots of veggies, fruit, whole grains, and lean meats.

3) drink plenty of water. At least 6-8 glasses a day. I unfortunately do not like regular or plain water so I am going to use flavored bottled water (but not Propel which has too many calories), water with lemon or lime in it, unsweet tea with Splenda, and crystal light packets in water.

Hopefully this will work well and I plan to adjust as needed. Well, I made it through day one! So far, so good. I really feel motivated and plan to jump any hurdles that come my way. I will probably weigh on Saturday and post where I currently am in the weight loss process. Please, if you have tips, suggestions or a yummy food idea post it in the comments section. Chubby people must unite and conquer!

Me too Oprah, me too!

2008-12-30T13:38:00.000-08:00

So I picked up the January issue of Oprah Magazine a few days ago. I never buy this magazine but what drew me in was the two pictures of her (bony/fit Oprah vs. thick/round/eggplant Oprah) and the caption "How did I let this happen again?"

Yep, I can truly relate. Just a few short years ago, I was wearing snug lowrider jeans, shopping in the juniors section, wearing snug artsy t-shirts, and sporting a bathing suit without a t-shirt (or the "am I bulging anywhere" paranoia). Then several things unfortunately happened that completely derailed my success. First, my brother-in-law, a sheriffs deputy in Atlanta, got shot and almost died (a long sad story with a happy ending). The stress was so great that I began to eat things I hadn't touched in years like pie and fried foods. Fortunately, within a few weeks it was clear he was going to make it and I struggled to get myself back on track. Unfortunately, I couldn't seem to find the obsessive willpower I had before the shooting incident. I slowly gained about 15 pounds and couldn't seem to get it off. The second problem occurred at the end of last year (fall/winter 2007). I began to feel tired all the time. Work was exhausting and I would come home and go straight to bed. I couldn't figure out what was wrong with me. This lasted for about 6 months and I gained quite a bit of weight (about 30 pounds). Unfortunately I made the mistake of not seeing a doctor. Then in May I started experiencing breathing problems. This scared me enough to go to the doctor. To give you the short version of the story, I had multiple pulmonary embolisms in both of my lungs (blood clots). I ended up in the ICU unhealthy and terrified. I am better now (although still on Coumadin/blood thinners). The sad fact is that even though I feel better and am trying to get healthy again, my weight has really suffered. The fit, slender, confident person has vanished. I feel your pain Oprah... I feel your pain.

What I found amazing about the O article is the fact that even with the money for personal trainers, nutritionist, personal chefs, etc., Oprah still fell off the wagon. This just reinforces to me how hard it is to really lose weight. I am determined to make 2009 the year that I finally get back down to my ideal weight. Although officially starting on January 1st, I am already gearing up by practicing my healthy eating now, reading fitness/weight loss articles and planning the dreaded exercise routine. I have been eating good for the last few days, counting points and drinking water. I will be back on to post on January 1st to officially start this journey. That also means I will have to survey the damage and see if the holidays have set me back the 7 pounds I had already lost. Regardless of what the scale says, I am ready to try and lose all the weight. I plan to post here several times a week. I will let you in on what is working or not working, share fitness ideas/tips, and any wonderful low fat foods that I come across. Also, if you have any fitness or diet secrets that are working for you then please share them in the comments section! Oprah and I need all the help we can get. Till January 1st think about skinny jeans. I love skinny jeans and dammit I will wear them again!

Its Christmas Eve!

2008-12-24T05:56:00.000-08:00

I can't believe how fast the time has gone since I last posted. Winding up work, shopping, wrapping gifts and visiting with family and friends has made the past 9 days a blur. I haven't exercised (partially because of my busy schedule and partially due the fact that I have been so sick) and therefore have not weighed. I've got my fingers crossed hoping I have been able to keep off those 7 pounds! I will be sure to weigh and update after the holidays.

Next hurdle: Christmas Eve appetizer night, Christmas Day breakfast and Christmas Day dinner. Tonight I am having some family and friends over and everyone is bringing appetizers. We will be having 7 layer dip (beans, sour cream, guacamole, cheese, tomatoes, etc), chips, salsa, corn dip, eggnog and other treats. Then in the morning we are planning to have pig in the blankets (veggie sausage wrapped in biscuits), cinnamon rolls, coffee and hot chocolate. Christmas dinner will be grilled salmon (everyone was tired of turkey and ham), mashed potatoes, corn on the cob, beans, and a dessert. For the record I now know why people typically do not try to lose weight during the holidays.

So, here is my game plan for the next few days. I am going to enjoy tonight and tomorrow but try to not go overboard. For example, I plan to have 1 small glass of eggnog (not 3 large ones), a handful of chips (not 1/2 a bag), and 1 cinnamon roll (not 2... or 3). Some of the items are naturally low-fat like salsa, baked chips, salmon and veggies so I can eat those without adding too much more girth to my already "blossoming" figure. I am also in charge of the dessert for Christmas dinner and so plan to make something light like angel food cake with fresh strawberries.

Hopefully I will be able to make it through the next few days without gaining 20 pounds! I have my fingers crossed and am chanting a butt reduction spell. I plan to jump (with a frenzy) back on the weight loss wagon immediately after the holidays. Surely it will be much easier to tackle this weight loss challenge when me (and most of the rest of the world) has also started their New Year's resolution diets. Till then I want to leave you with this hilarious e-mail a coworker sent to me with advice on how to eat this Holiday Season.

Holiday Eating Tips:

1) Avoid carrot sticks. Anyone who puts carrots on a holiday buffet table knows nothing of the Christmas spirit. In fact, if you see carrots, leave immediately. Go next door where they're serving rum balls.

2) Drink as much eggnog as you can. And quickly. It's rare. You cannot find it any other time of the year but now. So drink up! Who cares that it has 10,000 calories in every sip? It's not as if you're going to turn into an eggnogoholic or something. It's a treat. Enjoy it. Have one for me. Have two. It's later than you think. It's Christmas!

3) If something comes with gravy, use it! That's the whole point of gravy. Gravy does not stand alone. Pour it on. Make a volcano out of your mashed potatoes. Fill it with gravy. Eat the volcano. Repeat.

4) As for mashed potatoes, always ask if they're made with skim milk or whole milk. If it's skim, pass. Why bother? It's like buying a sports car with an automatic transmission.

5) Do not have a snack before going to a party in an effort to control your eating. The whole point of going to a Christmas party is to eat other people's food for free. Lots of it. Hello?

6) Under no circumstances should you exercise between now and New Year's. You can do that in January when you have nothing else to do. This is the time for long naps, which you'll need after circling the buffet table while carrying a 10-pound plate of food and that vat of eggnog.

7) If you come across something really good at a buffet table, like frosted Christmas cookies in the shape and size of Santa, position yourself near them and don't budge. Have as many as you can before becoming the center of attention. They're like a beautiful pair of shoes. If you leave them behind, you're never going to see them again.

8) Same for pies. Apple, Pumpkin, Mincemeat. Have a slice of each. Or if you don't like mincemeat, have two apples and one pumpkin. Always have three. When else do you get to have more than one dessert? Labor day?

9) Did someone mention fruitcake? Granted it's loaded with the mandatory celebratory calories, but avoid it at all cost. I mean, have some standards.

10) One final tip: If you don't feel terrible when you leave the party or get up from the table, you haven't been paying attention. Re-read tips; start over, but hurry, January is just around the corner. Remember this motto to live by:

Life should NOT be a journey to the grave with the intention of arriving safely in an attractive and well preserved body, but rather to skid in sideways, chocolate in one hand, body thoroughly used up, totally worn out and screaming "WOO HOO what a ride!"

I'm back on the wagon

2008-12-15T15:21:00.000-08:00

Yesterday was so fabulous! So fabulous in fact that I did not return to post. I think it was the first birthday in a long time where everything just seemed perfect. I got a brand new Canon camera which I can't wait to master. It has tons of gadgets and features. I also got cash (fits every time), some new clothes, 600 thread count sheets and some gift cards. It was great!

My birthday dinner was downtown at a restaurant called Foodworks. This restaurant use to be an old knitting mill so it has extremely high ceiling and exposed brick. It is really beautiful. Being my birthday, I knew before I went that I was going to treat myself to some excellent food... and I did! I ate:

- 2 soft and yummy rolls with seasoned butter

- 1/2 order of steamed asian dumpling (see I was kinda good, I split these with hubby)

- 1 chicken piccata with mashed potatoes and snap peas (? those long crunchy bean things)

- 1/2 house cheesecake dribbled with carmel (split with mom, still trying to cut back)

- 2 strawberry daiquiris (did I really need 2? Yep! but they were non-alcoholic due to the

medications I am on)

As you can see, I am sure this meal was not exactly what you call "diet food" but I did scale back that day knowing that I was going out that night. That is one of the techniques that has resulted in my current 7 pound loss. Often on weekends or special occasions I will only eat 2 meals that day, one of which has to be small and healthy. Yesterday I waited until about 11:30 and then ate 2 weight watcher breakfast quesadillas (more on that at a later date). This came to 8 weight watchers points or approx. 400 calories. This left the majority of my points/calories for the meal last night (which I ate at 6:00). I'm sure this is not the best method for weight loss since it really is not balanced to eat such a large meal, so I only do this on some weekends (when I tend to eat out more) and special occasions (like parties, etc).

During the week I try hard to stick to a healthy menu all day. Since it is Monday and I am "back on the wagon" I started the day with a cinnamon bagelful (more on this product later) and some fruit. For lunch I had a Marie Callender's frozen dinner (I think it was called Pasta Medley which had some pasta shells stuffed with ricotta cheese and tomato sauce and broccoli). It was pretty good, but not great. I also had an applesauce. My afternoon snack was 14 salted almonds and a fiber one bar. For supper I am going to have 2 baked chicken drumsticks, yellow squash with onions and 1/2 c. julienne potatoes. So far today's menu puts me well within my points/calorie range and gives me a little "wiggle room" in case I want a late evening snack (healthy of course like lite popcorn or weight watchers ice cream).

So far I have been able to keep off 7 pounds for over a month although I have been too sick to exercise with a sore throat/cough/congestion that just won't go away! 7 pounds may not seem like a lot but it is to someone who usually only loses 1-3 pounds and then promptly gains it back again. I am working hard to keep off the 7 pounds during the holidays and would be extremely happy if I could manage to squeeze 3 more pounds off to make it 10. I plan on posting (hopefully tomorrow) about what exercise I was doing that helped me lose so far and also put some pictures and reviews of some specific products that I feel are a chubby person's best friend. I hope that others will eventually start posting questions (if I haven't been specific about something) or their best tips that have resulted in weight loss (I can use any and all help). Till then think skinny thoughts.

Lets get started: The chubby b-day girl

2008-12-14T06:56:00.000-08:00

So I figure what better day to start my weight loss blog than on my b-day! I'm 37 today and feel like I am getting old. I see people in their 40's, 50's and 60's who look amazing and have decided if I have to age then might as well age with a bang! I believe it will be a lot easier to turn 40 if I am 40 and fabulous rather than 40 and fat! So here goes. In case you did not see the description for this blog elsewhere I decided to post it again to pretty much explain what I intend this blog to be:

This blog is a venue for anyone who has ever had the displeasure of being overweight or

the frustration of trying to lose weight (If you find it easy to lose weight or think it is a

real pleasure then you may be of superhero descent and this may not be the blog for you).

Topics covered include yummy (but healthy) food, tolerable exercise, tricks, tips, and

support. Hey, if you have to lose weight why go it alone? Hang with the chubby artist and

we will tackle this together.

I have already lost 7 pounds which in the diet world basically makes me an expert on weight loss. Several years ago I lost over 70 pounds so I do know how to play the "diet game". Unfortunately, stress and medical problems took their toll and I gained a lot of the weight back. So, here we go again, except this time I don't want to go it alone. Its hard to lose weight (can I get an Amen?) but I plan to give (and hopefully receive) some tips and support.

I plan to keep updated stats on pounds lost (notice the positive thinking) and will post every week. I currently do not have the BMI info but will get it off my Wii Fit (more to come on this excellent product) and post it later. However, I am not going to post my current weight because:

A) I'm kinda in denial

B) Its downright scary

I promise though that after I lose some weight I will post numbers and photos. Till then just know that you are not reading the blog of someone who just needs to lose 5 pounds so I can get back in my bikini this summer. This body has not seen a bikini in over a decade. I will post again later today and explain how I have lost 7 pounds so far. Till then stay away from the donuts!